“HOLY… FUCKING… CHRISTMAS-SHIT,” Jim uttered in shock after he and the others had heard the ‘legendary tale’ of the Guardians told by Lord Castron Lakarias. “I dunno about any of you dudes, but I think that EPIC-ASS STORY would make one helluva movie... OR MAYBE EVEN A TOTALLY KICK-ASS BOOK SERIES!”

  Looking up to the brightening skies above (due to it nearing early morning) Josh sighed, “Ugh… God, why’d you let this happen to me?”

  “If all of what you just said is true… ‘CAS-TRON’,” John said whilst looking up at the old hermit. “Then these… ‘Vexans’ are comin’ to Earth in search of the… What’d you call it again?”

  “THE PYRAMID OF POWER,” Princess Ashanna said as she emerged from her place behind Castron where she stood in complete silence the whole time.

  Holding the jewel-sized Unlimited Power Source in her right palm (which she had picked up from the top of dresser in the guest after dumping out the contents of Dexius’s Supply Pack) the Guardinian Guardinian Royal stepped down off of the deck and showed it to the six now ‘half-human/half-alien’ teenagers.

  “That’s what those alien DICKWADS want,” Eric asked as he looked down at the ‘pint-sized’ Pyramid and scoffed. “A little piece of FUCKIN’ JEWELERY???”

  “BLASPHEMY!” Princess Ashanna snapped at Eric, startling him. “Tis an ALL POWERFUL, ANCIENT MYSTICAL ARTIFACT created by the High-Elders THEMSELVES, you skogger!”

  “Oh! Uh… My bad?” Eric awkwardly replied.

  “Heh, heh… High-Elders. Whadda loada hooey,” Jim snickered, to which the Lady-Princess picked up instantly after scolding Eric.

  “Tis NOT a matter to make mockery or jest, Aeshlaran,” Princess Ashanna barked at the Gold Guardian.

  “HUH??? ASH-WHAAA???”

  “Many people have perished because of this infernal device! INNOCENT PEOPLE!!!”

  “How many people… Princess?” Derek asked curiously as a flustered Ashanna turned her head towards him.

  “More than you could ever imagine,” the Princess informed, causing Derek to gulp.

  “HEY! I’VE GOT IT, Y’ALL,” Jim erupted, causing everyone to shake their heads at him. CHECK IT, HOMIES! If all these ‘Vexan-Fuckers’ want is a Pyramid, then how ‘bout we just send their intergalactic asses off to Egypt?! They’ve got ASS-LOADS of Pyramids over in that massive sand trap!”

  “Jim… I don’t think those are the same kind as this one,” Derek unfortunately replied.

  Noticing Derek’s flawless speaking voice, Jim asked, “Yo, what happened to the ‘stuh-stuh-stutters’, D-Be… OOMPH!!!”

  Before Jim could finish his overly rude question, Eric suddenly rammed his right armor plated shoulder into his arm which, in-turn, knocked him back a few feet.

  “Urgh… What in the fuck was that for?!” Jim angrily demanded.

  “You already know, dipshit!” Eric snapped back.

  As the two Guardians threw a few more curses at one another, Castron shook his head whilst explaining, “When the Energy Shifters bonded with your ‘vessels’... BODIES they rewrote your genetic codes to make you one hundred percent physically and mentally perfect.”

  “Rewrote,” Derek repeated. “You mean, like, Genetic Mutation???”

  “Like ‘X-MEN’,” John asked, causing everyone to turn to him and widen their eyes behind their Visors.

  Lowering his brutish brow beneath his battle helmet, the Black Guardian stated, “Wolverine is METAL AS FUCK.”

  “Exactly, Red Guardian,” Castron said to Derek, answering his question.

  Looking over his armored frame again, but this time with ‘new eyes’, Derek gasped, “Whoa.”

  Setting his sights back on Lord Lakarias, Eric asked, “You mean to tell me that these fancy-ass ‘metal belts’ made us, like, ‘superhumans’ and they STILL CAN’T make the Dingus normal?”

  “HEY! FUCK YOU, BITCH!” Jim shouted at Eric.

  “SUCK IT,” Eric barked back, causing the Gold Guardian to temporarily silence himself in a disgruntled way.

  “That’s what I said to your Mom last night, Erickson… WHEN SHE WAS SUCKIN’ ON MY COCK!!!!!”

  “URGH-RAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!”

  UNLEASHING ON JIM, Eric lashed out at him with furious intent.

  Before the raging Yellow Guardian reached him, Jim dashed to his left… INTO THIN AIR.

  “RRAAAAAHHH!!!! Huh? Wuh-What the hell?” Eric said in confusion after he came upon Jim’s former position.

  As the Yellow Guardian looked around the area, Jim suddenly appeared from off to his right.

  “Wuh-Wuh-What thuh-the fuh-fuh-fuck?” Jim fearfully fumbled as he looked down at his legs to see that they were vibrating rapidly.

  Jim’s eyes then widened as Eric looked over at him with rage burning in his eyes.

  “WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, JIM,” Eric angrily demanded as the Gold

  Guardian continued to stare at his violently shaking, armor encased legs.

  “Muh-Muh-My luh-legs,” Jim shouted back. “Urgh… I cuh-cuh-can’t stuh-stop thuh-them fruh-fruh-from muh-muh-moving!”

  “I’LL STOP THEM FOR YA! RAH!!!”

  Eric then launched himself to throw a wild haymaker at Jim’s head, but the Gold Guardian quickly ‘vanished’ out of his way again.

  Jim then appeared a half-second later behind Eric, who had stumbled forward a couple feet after blatantly missing his strike.

  “OUCH!” Jim cried out after he fell to the ground on his bottom due to losing his balance from the ‘high-speed friction’ caused by his legs.

  Spinning around, Eric looked down at the Gold Guardian like a crazed lunatic and shouted, “ALRIGHT, DINGUS! I’ve had enough of this fucking shit!”

  Noticing that his hands and arms were now also vibrating at the same speed rate as his legs, Jim stuttered, “I auh-auh-already tuh-told yuh-you, Er-Er-Eric! I duh-duh-don’t knuh-know wuh-what’s ha-ha-happening tuh-to muh-muh-muh-me!”

  “He’s unlocking his special power,” Castron abruptly said from up on his Cabin’s front deck.

  “Special power,” Kyle repeated in confusion. “What are you talking about now?”

  “Along with your battlesuits of armor, the Guardian Energy Shifters give each of their champions a different set of ‘abilities’... SPECIAL POWERS.”

  “You mean, like, ‘super powers’?” John asked curiously.

  “In a sense… Yes, Black Guardian,” Lord Lakarias nodded.

  “AW MUH-MUH-MAN! I DUH-DUH-DON’T FUH-FUH-FEEL RUH-RUH-RUH-RIGHT!” Jim continued to stammer as his whole body now vibrated at a super fast rate. “Huh-How duh-duh-do I sh-sh-shut thuh-this sh-sh-shit off?!”

  “Calm yourself and focus, Gold Guardian!” Castron shouted at Jim. “CALM YOURSELF AND FOCUS!!!”

  “I cuh-can’t cuh-cuh-calm duh-down buh-because muh-muh-my huh-heart fuh-fuh-feels luh-luh-like it's guh-guh-gonna buh-buh-beat ruh-ruh-right out of muh-muh-muh-my chuh-chest!”

  Whilst Jim continued to vibrate uncontrollably on the ground, Josh turned to the others and said, “I TOLD YOU GUYS that we should’ve gone back to my Parents’ Cabin when we had the chance!”

  “Pipe down, Russell,” John replied in a strangely unaffected voice. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

  “Fine?! How in the hell is everything ‘going to be fine’ now that we know that REAL LIFE FUCKING ALIENS are coming to DESTROY our world all because of a stupid piece of jewelry?!”

  “SETTLE DOWN, BUB.”

  Josh was about to snap once more until Kyle shouted, “GUYS, ENOUGH!!! We need to stop arguing with each other and get a grasp on all of this totally insane shit!”

  “GUH-GUH-GUYS!!!” Jim suddenly cried as the others diverted their attention back towards him again.

  Jim’s body was now vibrating faster than ever as it looked as if he were actually fading away from existence.

  “What’s happening to him?” Derek asked frantically.

  “He is not used to his special power yet,” Castron answered sagely. “So, he is unable to control it.”

  “Well, how in the hell is he supposed to control his ‘special power’,” Kyle asked the old hermit.

  Castron was about to speak until Princess Ashanna brushed past him.

  Still keeping the Pyramid held in one hand, the beautiful Guardinian Royal kneeled down in front of the ‘fading’ and frightened teenager.

  “Puh-Puh-Please,” Jim pleaded to the Princess whilst he now huddled himself into a ‘vibrating ball’. “Muh-Muh-Make it stuh-stuh-stop…”

  “CALM,” Princess Ashanna said in a soft, gentle tone that entered Jim’s protected ears like warm, flowing honey.

  Placing her right hand over atop the Guardian ‘G’ sigil that was pressed to the center of Jim’s armored chest, the Guardinian Royal set her glowing eyes on the frightened teen’s darkly tinted visor whilst she stressed, “Calm thyself… Lord-Guardian.”

  Feeling an immediate feeling of ‘safety’ growing within himself, Jim did as he was told by the Lady-Princess of Guardinas.

  Using all of the strength (and little brain power) that he had, Jim finally managed to control his Special Guardian Power and stopped his body from rapidly vibrating to nonexistence.

  The others stood in astonishment now as Jim suddenly opened his eyes back up.

  “Huh? What the-- HEY! GUYS, IT STOPPED,” Jim gleefully cheered as Princess Ashanna now smiled upon him.

  “You are welcome, Lord-Guardian,” the Lady-Princess said as Jim looked up at her in shock.

  “Oh, uh… Thanks… Whoever you are.”

  “She is Ashanna Pronos, Gold Guardian,” Castron stated firmly. “THE ‘LADY-PRINCESS’ OF PLANET GUARDINAS.”

  “No shit?” an aloof Jim asked the old Guardinian Lord. “My bad, bruh.”

  Turning his head towards the Lady-Princess again, Jim said, “Sorry ‘bout that, Princess Ass-ana.”

  “TIS ‘ASHANNA’, YOU KROONE!” Castron angrily blared.

  “Tis fine, Lord Lakarias… All be well,” Princess Ashanna kindly stated to the angry hermit.

  Looking back upon Jim again, Princess Ashanna said with a smirk after standing back upwards, “All be well, Lord-Guardian.”

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  “Uh… Okay then? Cool,” Jim replied. “Well, uh… for the record, my name’s Jim. Jim Hunter… ALSO known as ‘THE J-MAN’ or ‘J-Huzzle’, or…”

  “THE DINGUS,” Eric shouted, causing him, Kyle, and Derek all to snicker.

  As Jim turned icy glares on his peers, Princess Ashanna said, “Tis a grand pleasure to meet you, Jim Hunter… Or do you prefer ‘the Dingus’?”

  “Jim’s good enough,” the Gold Guardian gritted as he shook his head before looking back up at Lord Lakarias. “So, ‘Castro-Whatever’, you were sayin’ somethin’ about us havin’ super powers, right? Well, if that shizz is true, what’s mine then?”

  “As the Gold Guardian,” Castron started bitterly. “You wield the special power of enhanced speed. MEANING…”

  “I’ve got ‘super speed’?”

  “Ugh… Yes.”

  “FUCKIN’ HEAT, FAM!!!”

  “You’re STILL a ‘dingus’ though… DINGUS,” Eric crudely remarked.

  “EAT SHIT AND DIE, E,” Jim snapped at the Yellow Guardian. “YOU’RE JUST JELLY, BRAH! You’re SO peanut-butter and JEALOUS that I got a cool-ass superpower and you didn’t! Heh, heh… The ONLY superpower you’ve got is bein’ a LOSER-ASS-BITCH!!! HA-HA-HA!!!!!”

  Not wanting to feed into Jim’s blatant ignorance and immaturity, Eric just rolled his eyes as Derek looked up at Lord Lakarias to ask, “What’s my power, Castron?”

  Diverting his attention back to Derek, Castron said, “As the Red Guardian, you wield the special power of the mind.”

  “Power the mind?”

  “Yes, Lord-Guardian. With the power of the mind you are able to move objects with a mere thought.”

  Leaning over to Derek, Kyle asked, “What’s that mean, D?”

  “I think he’s saying that I have telekinesis,” Derek replied.

  “Teleki-HUH???” Jim asked from the right in total confusion.

  “TELEKINESIS,” Derek sternly replied. “It means that I can move stuff with my mind like Castron just said.”

  “Ohhhh. I still don’t get it, dude.”

  “Ugh… Just forget it, Jim.”

  “AS FOR THE REST OF YOU,” Castron followed whilst looking over at Kyle, Eric, John, and Josh now. “Your special powers are also quite mighty.”

  Looking at Kyle firstly, Castron said, “Green Guardian, you have the special power of enhanced agility. Thanks in GRAND PART to the bonding process with your Energy Shifter, your movements… ALL OF YOUR MOVEMENTS are now multiplied TEN TIMES grander than what they originally were.”

  “Damn, son,” Kyle replied as he looked over his emerald shaded, armor-encased frame.

  “Yellow Guardian,” Castron started as he now turned his glowing eyes over towards Eric. “You wield the special power of Mimicry... MEANING that you can absorb an enemy’s movements or battle skills and use them to your own advantage.”

  “Oh yeah? Well, that doesn’t sound totally lame… I guess,” Eric replied.

  “Tis a fine tool to use when in the heat of battle, Lord-Guardian,” Castron stated before setting his sights on John.

  “And you, Black Guardian,” Castron said to John who still had his arms crossed. “You now wield the special power of enhanced strength.... Meaning that you are as strong as seven thousand, four hundred and fifty-eight human men.”

  Scrunching his brow behind his visor, Eric said, “That’s oddly specific.”

  “Super strong, eh? Like Colossus,” John asked as he flexed his armored arms. “FUCK YEAH.”

  Castron gave John a brief head nod before turning his eyes on towards the final member of the new Guardian Unit.

  “And for you… WHITE GUARDIAN,” Lord Lakarias ushered as Josh looked to him. “You wield the special power of.…”

  “SAVE YOUR BREATH,” Josh said abruptly… and RUDELY as he held up his right palm before himself. “No offense, but I honestly don’t really give the slightest ounce of a shit about what you or anyone else here has to say to me.”

  “Ugh… For fuck’s sake, Josh,” John said after letting out a disgruntled sigh. “Can you STOP bein’ such a negative ASSHOLE for once???”

  “LOOK WHO’S TALKIN’, MISTER NEGATIVE,” the White Guardian slammed right back, causing John to now glare even more intensely at him from behind his visor. “That’s real rich comin’ from you!”

  “Josh, come on man,” Derek said in a way to reason with the non-compliant jock. “You heard what Castron said earlier…”

  “ALIENS ARE COMING TO EARTH,” Kyle stated sternly. “And we’re the ONLY DUDES who can stop them… RIGHT???”

  “ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING DEAF?!” Josh asked in a totally douchey way. “I JUST SAID that I don’t care what ANY OF YOU have to…”

  “HEY! HAIR GEL-COATED DOUCHEBAG,” Eric suddenly blared, gaining a look of surprise from the White Guardian, “If you listened ANYTHING at all before you decided to jam your ears with your OWN SHIT, some REALLY BAD SHIT is gonna start happenin’ around here if we don’t do somethin’ about it!”

  “HA! THAT’S EVEN MORE RICH,” Josh squawked in a laughter that was mixed with stress and fear. “Tell me, Eric… WHAT IN THE HELL are we gonna do to stop a MASSIVE FUCKING ARMY of ‘PLANET DESTROYING ALIENS’ from destroying OUR planet??? HUH?! Can you answer that, mouth?!”

  “FIGHT,” Princess Ashanna uttered, causing Josh and the others to all turn their heads towards and set their sights back on her. “In order to stop the Vexan Empire from decimating your world like they have already done with planets Sularia, Woylatun, Vosmara, and Eobos you MUST fight… ALL OF YOU.”

  Lowering her newly dyed-haired head now, the Guardinian Royal continued, “My home world was once beautiful and peaceful like this one seemingly is…”

  “Apparently she hasn't been to the westside of town yet,” Jim whispered to his peers.

  “‘Guardinas was filled with prosperity, life and love… BUT THAT ALL WENT AWAY when the cursed BROTHERS VEXAS invaded it along with their dreadful VEXAN HORDE,” Princess Ashanna continued. “I have seen so much death in the past forty-eight hour-cycles. So much pain and suffering that I would never want to wish what I have witnessed upon anyone… ANYONE. No matter how headstrong… OR SELFISH they may seem.”

  Princess Ashanna then glared at Josh, who still stood before her in scared silence.

  “You say that you do not care, Aeshlaran,” the Lady-Princess spat at the White Guardian. “I find that hard to believe for someone who has most likely NEVER lost something so precious to them… SO GRAND in their life-cycle that they would DIE without it.”

  “Look… Princess,” Josh started to awkwardly reply. “I--…”

  “SILENCE!!! You do NOT interrupt a member of the ROYAL HOUSE OF LORD-KING LUXOR PRONOS whilst they are speaking!!!”

  “Man,” Eric began to whisper from off to the side. “She’s like that one ‘dragon-chick’ from ‘Game of Thrones’.”

  “KHALEESI,” Derek said from within his battle helmet in a voice that was coated in fire and passion.

  “I lost everything to the Vexans, White Guardian! EVERYTHING,” Princess Ashanna screamed. “All because of this ‘jewel’ you so-call here!!!”

  Activating the Pyramid’s mystical shapeshifting abilities, Princess Ashanna mentally ‘willed’ the Unlimited Power Source to transform into the size of a basketball.

  With the rest of the guys all standing in astonishment of said act, Josh’s eyes widened the most.

  Almost instantly Josh had become infatuated with the glowing golden Pyramid of Power.

  It was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen and for some reason he wanted to have it for himself.

  “Because of this… FOUR INNOCENT WORLDS and TRILLIONS OF LIFE-FORMS across the Known Twenty-For have been MERCILESSLY DECIMATED by the infernal Vexan Empire,” Princess Ashanna went on to angrily state to Josh and the others. “And they SHALL and WILL do the very same to your race and planet if you chosen six champions of the Guardian Energy Shifters do not stand up against their wicked might and fight.”

  “So, let me get this straight, She-Ra,” John crudely ushered from off to the side. “You’re expecting the six of us to take on an alien army that’s already destroyed four other planets???”

  Princess Ashanna nodded whilst Kyle asked her, “And just how many of these ‘Vexan guys’ are there exactly?”

  “Their EXACT estimate is unknown, Green Guardian,” the Lady-Princess replied. “But I would expect it to be somewhere… IN THE MILLIONS.”

  “SERIOUSLY?!?!”

  Princess Ashanna nodded to Kyle as Jim blurted, “HA! TA HELL WITH THAT, CHICK! I’d rather be ‘desecrated’ or whatever in the hell you said than be fuckin’ SPLATTERED by Martians!”

  “Shut up, Jim,” Eric angrily barked, causing the doof to turn to him.

  “WHAT, E??? Don’t tell me that you’re ACTUALLY considering taking part in this totally ludicrous shitola… ARE YOU???”

  Eric bitterly glared at the Gold Guardian as Derek stepped up to say, “Princess Ashanna… We’re nothing special. I mean, look at us. We’re just ORDINARY people.”

  “No. You are no longer ‘ordinary’, Red Guardian… YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY,” Princess Ashanna firmly corrected. “You are now the Guardians of the Pyramid of Power… AND AS THE GUARDIANS you six hold the power to defeat Lord-Emperor Vexas and his merciless minions of death and chaos.”

  “ANSWER ME THIS, PRINCESS,” Josh blunted chimed. “How are we supposed to stand a chance against the Vexans when YOUR PEOPLE’S GUARDIANS FAILED???”

  With her brow lowered, the Lady-Princess turned to the White Guardian and replied, “They did not all fail. ONE STILL LIVES.”

  “Who?” John asked curiously as Derek’s eyes suddenly widened.

  “The guy…”

  “WHO, D???” Kyle asked as he turned to the Red Guardian again.

  “THE GUY IN THE WOODS,” Derek replied. “The one who that ‘Mawl-Thing’ was about to kill before we killed it. The last surviving Guardian from Guardinas is…”

  “LIEUTENANT DEXIUS TYLERON SOLAS,” Princess Ashanna answered intently. “He is the Blue Guardian… And the SOLE-SURVIVING member of his ‘former’ unit. The other Guardian Warriors… Including my elder brother Lanteus… THE FORMER RED GUARDIAN, were all mercilessly slain by the Brothers Vexas back on my home world before the Vexans overtook it. Dexius was the ONLY GUARDIAN to escape from the battle and has been PERSONALLY ORDERED by my father to watch over and protect myself… As well as the Pyramid, during our stay here on your planet.”

  Looking back at Josh directly, the Lady-Princess of Guardinas snapped, “And he was ALSO given the task to seek out six noble champions who were worthy and strong enough to be the next generation of Guardian Warriors.”

  Josh lost his voice in shame and shock as Princess Ashanna went on to say to the others, “You heard Lord Lakarias’s words as well as my own, Lord-Guardians. THE VEXANS ARE COMING. The ONLY CHANCE that Earth and the humans have at survival are YOU SIX as well as Dexius. Tis an honor… A GRAND HONOR to be a Guardian so you are ALL expected to treat it as such!”

  Princess Ashanna then turned sour eyes back on Josh as she seared, “Not as if it were a curse or a thracking burden!!!”

  Josh proceeded to lower his head like a cowering dog as Derek set his sights back on Princess Ashanna.

  “Princess… If the Vexans ARE, in fact, coming to Earth then what are we supposed to do until that time???”

  With a hawkish look in his glowing eyes, Castron answered sternly to Derek, “YOU PREPARE FOR WAR.”