Chapter 23

  Although Kangxi had a private meeting with Yinreng, there was no movement afterwards. Yinreng remained under house arrest, and the entire imperial court was filled with anxiety, unable to fathom what Kangxi was thinking. The struggle between different factions intensified, with some people advocating for the crown prince and others listing his misdeeds. Amidst the chaos, some people were red-faced while others had dark faces, each side waiting for an opportunity to strike.

  The attitudes of the princes were also different. After returning from beyond the pass, the thirteenth prince's visits to the palace decreased significantly, and I rarely saw him. The fourth prince claimed to be ill at home and refused to come out. The eighth prince never appeared in the Qianqing Palace either. Although the ninth and fourteenth princes could occasionally be seen, they always came and went hastily, and with so many people around, there was no chance to talk.

  Kangxi watched all this with a cold eye, without saying a word. Sometimes when he was resting, he would even chat with me about tea-related things, which place had good water, which type of tea leaves had the most elegant name, and whose poem about tea was the most fitting. He seemed to be in a relaxed mood, and Li Dequan and I were also serving him in a leisurely manner. It seemed as if nothing had happened at all.

  I quietly watched all of this, and in my heart I extremely admired Kangxi. Although he was also secretly worried, on his face no one could see even a hint. Yet, without making a sound, he had already taken in every move of everyone present.

  The days passed slowly and arrived at the 30th of December, Fei Taizi Yinreng was still under house arrest, Da A Ge Yin'e was also in seclusion. Everyone in the court was thinking about this undecided position of the crown prince, so this year's New Year's Eve banquet was superficially decorated with lanterns and streamers, but secretly it was a turbulent sea. I didn't want to see this artificially created festive atmosphere, and coincidentally it was my turn to be on duty in the palace that night, so although Yu Tan volunteered to switch shifts with me, I declined and told her to go enjoy herself instead. Alone, I quietly guarded the candles and incense burners in the palace and welcomed the 48th year of Kangxi's reign.

  ――――――――――――

  On the first morning of the New Year, the sky was just getting light. I sat quietly in front of the desk, gazing out the window. Yutan passed by the window and saw me sitting there lost in thought, curiously asking: "Sister stayed up all night yesterday, won't you sleep for a while now?" I then came back to my senses, smiling: "I'll sleep now!" After speaking, I closed the window. Yutan smiled and left the courtyard.

  I still sit quietly in front of the desk, feeling the sun outside the window getting stronger and the room gradually brighter. But my heart is sinking more and more. I lean on the desk and think, why? Why hasn't he come yet? Did he forget this year? Or was there something else that delayed him? Or will it never happen again?

  From morning till noon, until the eunuch brought lunch, no one came. I didn't have any appetite at all, and I was too lazy to even look at it, so I pushed the food box aside and lay down on the bed without taking off my shoes. I always thought that I had mentally prepared myself to calmly accept that 'he might let go of me at any time, and it's possible that he would fade out of my life at any moment', after all, how much patience can a man have for a woman? But it turned out that I was just 'assuming' all along, when the time came, I couldn't calm down, it turns out that I would feel lost! Would be heartbroken!

  My heart was calm and cool, when I suddenly heard a knock at the door. I quickly sat up and rushed to the door to open it. But then I was stunned, as standing in front of me was an unfamiliar little eunuch. He looked at my puzzled expression and hastily greeted me with a bow, accompanied by a smile, saying: "I am Xiao Shunzi, I usually don't move around in the Qianqing Palace, so you look at me with unfamiliar eyes." After listening to him, I didn't speak, but just looked at him. He turned his head and glanced around, then took out a small red silk package from his sleeve and handed it to me. Although my heart was full of doubts, wondering what this little package could be, I still felt determined, so I quickly reached out to take it. He saw that I had taken the thing, smiled all over his face, bowed and hurriedly ran away. I hastily closed the door, walked to the table and sat down, calmed my nerves, opened the package, and inside was a necklace.

  Pick it up and take a closer look, several strands of silver silk are intertwined together, intersecting each other, like ripples flowing on the water. The pendant is a crystal clear sheep fat jade magnolia, exquisitely carved, as if it were a real flower that had been miniaturized, and you can smell its refreshing fragrance by bringing it close to your nose.

  A thought flashed through my mind like lightning, and my whole body shook. It turned out that this wasn't a gift from "him", but from "him"! I felt as if the cool white magnolia in my hand was his lips, and a chill ran from my palm straight to the bottom of my heart.

  I hastily threw the chain back onto the table, making a crisp sound, which landed right on the silk that had been opened earlier.

  The unfolded crimson silk was the background, on which undulating silver waves flowed, and a white magnolia floated quietly among the waves. I stared for a while, feeling as if there were faint breathing sounds beside my ears, cold lips lightly brushing against me, my body chilled to the bone, but my heart burning hot. Suddenly jumping up from the chair, hastily wrapping up the silk, opening the trunk, and stuffing it into the bottom layer.

  My fingers lightly slid over the three letters that I had suppressed to the bottom, silently for a moment, and finally couldn't help but take them out. Placing the letters on the desk, I stared at them silently, actually their contents were already deeply memorized, the strokes and ink colors were all deeply imprinted in my mind. In the quiet and oppressive long nights in the palace, I quietly recited them to myself, passing through countless sleepless nights.

  I forced a smile that was even uglier than crying, and whispered to myself "It's all over from now on!", slowly took a deep breath, picked up the most humiliating one, and slowly opened it:

  "The east gate is where? The chrysanthemum is in the slope."

  His room is near, but he himself is far away.

  The east gate has chestnuts; there is a family living in it.

  "Are you not thinking of me? I am thinking of you."

  This was received on the morning of New Year's Day in the 44th year of Kangxi.

  The Second Letter:

  "Out of the east gate, there is a girl like a cloud."

  Although it is like this, I still think of you.

  Embroidered clothes and elegant scarf, bring joy to my humble abode.

  Out of the woods, there is a girl like tea.

  Although it is like tea, I am thinking of you nonetheless.

  "Embroidered clothes and lotus shoes are enough for amusement."

  Concentrating in her heart, she suddenly heard several "thuds" of knocking on the door. Startled, she hastily gathered up the letter and asked "Who is it?" while looking around nervously, hurriedly hiding the letter under the quilt.

  A voice outside the door replied: "The slave has just arrived!" My heart was like an overturned five-flavor bottle, with sourness, joy, bitterness and shock all mixed together, and for a moment I stood there in a daze.

  Fang He waited for a while, seeing that there was no movement inside the house, and then knocked on the door again, calling out softly: "Miss!" I was startled awake by this and hurried to open the door.

  "Looking at Fang He, I couldn't help but ask: 'Why did you come so late this year?' Fang He smiled and whispered: 'The Eighth Master specifically instructed that the young lady was guarding the palace last night, don't come too early, disturbing her rest.' After hearing this, my heart felt even more indescribable, only feeling stuck in my throat, unable to swallow or spit it out. Fang He looked around cautiously, took out a letter and handed it to me, then retreated with a bow."

  Holding the letter in hand, sitting at the desk, half a day passed without moving, finally slowly opening the envelope. Still the high-quality lily-scented stationery, with gentle yet strong fly-head small script.

  "Alas, alas! Why doesn't he return?"

  Why should I be anxious about the future?

  The millet is ripe, the millet is ripe! Why doesn't he come back?

  "Why should a noble gentleman like you be in such a humble and dirty place?"

  I only feel a sharp pain in my heart, as if the tip of a knife has suddenly touched my heart. I involuntarily cover my chest and fall onto the table. A thousand thoughts surge and churn in my chest, but have nowhere to go. All I can do is repeatedly ask myself: "Why doesn't he come back? What's the point?" "Why doesn't he come back? What's the point?"...