Chapter Thirty: Worms and Apples

  The time it took to get home was much shorter than what Siu Yuk thought, and as for how she got on the bus, where it stopped along the way, it was all a blur in her memory, like fragmented scenes that crowded her mind. The professor's nostalgic and melancholic expression when talking about his famous wife, Qu Xiaojuan's desperation hidden in the shadows, the warmth of the middle-aged man's palm, and some words kept buzzing around her ears.

  "...I like young and beautiful girls"

  "...be my graduate student...you will be my last disciple..."

  "You're back, I didn't even know, I waited for a long time and fell asleep..."

  "...Is this the reason you've been distant from me?"

  ……

  After getting off the bus, she sprinted in the direction of her home, until the lights of that small building came into view, only then did she feel like she had escaped a disaster and returned to a familiar and safe place among people. Even the face of Yao Auntie, who answered the door with an expressionless face, seemed inexplicably warm and welcoming.

  Xī Tù Jìn was hoping that her parents were not around, she yearned to sit next to Qǐ Yún, tightly pressed against his body, using the fastest speed to pour out those unbelievable craziness, letting his rationality and warmth dispel the turbid air in her heart.

  But as soon as she stepped inside, it seemed like something was holding back her footsteps, causing every move she made to slow down involuntarily.

  How would Yao Qiyun evaluate everything that had just happened? Yes, she understood him. He would frown and say coldly: "Situ Xuan, I told you to stay away from him long ago. I said it many times, but you never listened. You're like this, not shedding tears until you see the coffin!

  He was so tense with her, and at the same time, he would also mercilessly remind her: You are wrong, wrong!

  It's wrong to do something completely uncertain just out of goodwill and impulse.

  Refusing to believe that the dirty dust stirred up behind rumors is wrong.

  Heaven is wrong, self-conceit is wrong, and refusing to listen to his words is even more wrong!

  The feeling of despair crept in, and when Situ Ke entered the living room, he found that Yao Qiyun's bedroom light was off, and he actually let out a sigh of relief for a moment. Maybe she needed to calm down before facing his anger, even if only for a while.

  It was already past eight in the evening, but Yao Qiyun had not returned home yet. He had been busy for the past few days, which was within Si Tu Jue's expectations. What caught her off guard was Wu Jiang's appearance.

  Wu Jiang sat alone on the sofa in the living room of the Situ family, holding a remote control in one hand and an apple that had been bitten into in the other, with a smile still hanging on his face from being amused by the variety show on TV, looking very relaxed. As soon as he saw Situ Yue appear, he quickly stood up to greet her and invited her to sit down beside him.

  "So you're back, how was it? Tell me quickly."

  "Heavens know!" Situ Jing had a bellyful of words and didn't know where to start, from young to old she had never hidden so many heart affairs. Wu Jiang was originally her best trash can, but when it came to Qu Xiaojuan, things started to become subtle and strange. She glanced at Yao Jiujiu who was watching TV in her small room, occasionally checking the outside situation from the open door, and lowered her voice to say to Wu Jiang: "We're not at home, you're alone and can still stay here, didn't Kebuke give you a good face?"

  I don't know why, but among the guests at the Situ family's home, Aunt Yao was uniquely unfriendly towards Wu Jiang. Of course, when Xue Shaoping and his wife were around, she didn't dare to be so obvious, but in private, especially when Wu Jiang came to visit Situ Yue, this middle-aged woman's gaze was more vigilant than a hawk's, her sense of smell more keen than a dog's. Situ Yue often found it ironic that Aunt Yao disliked her nephew being with her on the one hand, yet was particularly concerned about her and other boys having contact, as if someone would do something improper behind her nephew's back if she wasn't careful.

  Wu Jiang didn't care at all, shaking the apple in his hand and smiling: "What's her face to me? I'm not here looking for her, is she going to dare kick me out? I came with my mom, she went to have tea with Aunt Xue, so I'll just wait for you here. I can take care of myself, no need for anyone to serve me. By the way, what's the situation with Zou Jin, you tell me."

  "Go up and talk." Si Tu Xie gestured for Wu Jiang to follow her upstairs, avoiding the pair of ears perked up not far away. It wasn't until she was curled up in the soft chair in her own room that she finally felt truly at ease.

  "I've asked for everything I wanted, but he didn't respond. Anyway, I think Xiaogen should be mentally prepared." Si Tu Jue said gloomily.

  Wu Jiang sat in her rocking chair for a while before saying: "Thanks again, Sutu."

  "Situ Xuan snorted, 'Are you kidding me? What's the point of thanking you? If we're talking about friends, Xiao Gen is also my friend. This isn't your fault, don't take it upon yourself.'"

  "After all, I thought about it later and felt that this matter shouldn't have involved you either. I was muddled at the time and made things difficult for you."

  For some reason, when Si Tu Jue heard Wu Jiang's ordinary sentence, she felt a sour nose, and those fragments wildly challenged her psychological defense line. She hastily asked: "What's going on between you and her recently... I mean Qu Xiaojuan."

  "I'm not clear about it either, let's just leave it at that." Wu Jiang gave an answer that was equivalent to no answer at all, and then smiled and said, "Why are you asking this?"

  Situ Xuan avoided his eyes and asked seriously: "Wu Jiang, can you tell me what exactly did you see in her?"

  Wu Jiang was still creaking and swaying in that old rattan chair, casually throwing the apple core he had just finished into the trash can.

  "Let me put it this way... take an apple for example, it's like a hungry person picks one out of a big pile of fruit, takes a bite and the taste is slightly different from what they imagined. The second bite goes down and thinks it's not bad after all, maybe that's just how apples are supposed to taste. Unconsciously, you've already eaten the core... cough, the key isn't in the word 'eat', but rather at this point, you suddenly realize you're full, even if there are still bananas, pineapples, watermelons and pears in front of you, you don't want to try any other flavors anymore."

  Wu Jiang's metaphors were always clumsy, and Situ Xuan said irritably, "If the apples you picked look shiny but are actually sour and astringent, do you have to gnaw on them until the very last bite? Does that make sense?"

  "So what." Wu Jiang shrugged, "Sweet fruits are everywhere, but that's my apple."

  "What if there are bugs inside?" Wu Jiang's chair shook heavily, disturbing Si Tu Xuan's troubled mind. She leaned forward and pressed down on the armrest to steady it.

  It's not that she hadn't thought about it, even good friends should leave some room for maneuvering. Just like when her mother ran into a colleague's husband holding hands with another woman on the street, but ultimately kept silent. She said maybe someday this colleague immersed in a happy marriage would discover the truth, but maybe never would. In short, it shouldn't be an outsider who tears off this cruel veil. It can be hinted at, no need to say it outright. From her mother's philosophy of dealing with people, Si Tu Jue had already fulfilled his duty, but facing Wu Jiang, she found herself unable to do so. Let those principles and techniques go to hell, all she knew was that she had a duty to let her good friend understand the truth and avoid harm.

  "Wu Jiang, I advise you to wake up, Qu Xiao Wen is not worth your love at all. You know what I saw..."

  Wu Jiang smiled and pulled away Xīuè's hand, interrupting her. "This chair in your house is quite comfortable." He started shaking again, this time very quickly, faster and faster, so fast that his face became blurry in Xīuè's line of sight.

  "We were just talking about where we left off, right, the apple... the apple! For someone who loves eating apples, if that apple has a worm, he has two choices. First, from head to tail, he doesn't see the worm and eats the whole apple very satisfyingly; second, he discovers there's a worm and feels nauseous, immediately throwing it away. However, even if he throws away the apple, he is still someone who loves eating apples, that feeling of fondness won't change because he threw it or didn't throw it, that's not something he can choose, what he chooses is actually either happily eating the apple or unhappily looking at the apple that has to be thrown away while being disgusted by the worm."

  Situ Xuan dazedly listened to Wu Jiang finish speaking, she vowed that from now on she would dislike apples.

  "Still doesn't work, is there only one apple in this world?"

  "What if this apple hadn't been completely ruined by a worm?"

  "May..."

  "Alright, Situ, thank you, I'm leaving!"

  Wu Jiang didn't know when he had stopped, probably because of the intense shaking before, his face didn't look good.

  Xie Xin suddenly felt that her best friend had also become somewhat estranged, she had thought she understood him as if he were another version of herself. Was it true that after everyone grew up, they would all have a small black room in their heart with tightly closed doors and windows, where they could hide when necessary to feel safe? But she was still foolishly leaving her own door wide open, letting sunlight in, and also letting wind and rain in.

  She thought she understood. Those urgent "secrets" could only be swallowed back into her belly in silence.

  "Suit yourself, as you said, you eat your apple, it has nothing to do with me." She didn't know if her voice sounded particularly stiff.

  Wu Jiang quickly regained his composure, a hint of apology flashing across his face as he hastily said: "I didn't mean anything else... are you really angry?"

  If it were in the past, Situ Xuan would have definitely scolded him severely to vent her anger. But now she just wants to calm herself down. She pushes Wu Jiang towards the door, "Alright, you can go back now." When they reach the door, she suddenly remembers something and pats her own head, then goes back into the room to pick up the apple core from the trash can and stuffs it into Wu Jiang's hands without saying a word. "Don't ever forget 'your apple', what if you miss it?"

  Wu Jiang couldn't help but laugh and cry, neither accepting nor rejecting it. He awkwardly retreated a few steps and was soon blocked by the door. He found a trash can to throw away the fruit pit again, knocked on the door, "Then I'll go back first, friends shouldn't have overnight grudges."

  He waited for a while, but there was no movement in the room, so he had to leave first.

  After Wu Jiang left, Si Tu Xuan lay on the bed, waiting for Yao Qi Yun to return home. She didn't know when she fell asleep, her heavy eyelids like dark clouds covering the darkness, and soon, chaotic dreams followed one after another.

  Tears streaming down her face, Qu Xiaowen held an apple and stood at a distance from Wu Jiang. In an instant, Professor Zou transformed from his usual elegant demeanor to having a blue face and fangs... Yao Qiyun walked towards her, ah yes, she still had Qiyun. She threw herself into his arms, but unexpectedly missed him by a step. Lifting her head, he was still standing there with a furrowed brow, looking at her.

  "Sze-to Yuen, why didn't you listen to me? This is the bitter fruit of your self-righteousness. What did he do to you? Just with his hands? Is that all? You said so yourself, but who knows what really happened?"

  Wu Jiang's voice also came from afar, the apple in his hand was gone, and he turned to hold Qu Xiaojuan in his arms, their faces sweet. "...You can only choose to eat that worm or forget that worm."

  Situ Xuan's remaining sanity kept telling herself that this was just a dream, just a dream, and she would wake up soon. She closed her eyes tightly and opened them again to find that everyone had disappeared, leaving only herself on the empty road, with every street lamp quietly watching her, and the grass behind her rustling ominously, fear spreading boundlessly.

  "Who is hiding there?"

  She plucked up the courage to push aside the grass, and a pair of dark giant claws suddenly came out from inside, tightly pinning her down.

  Xīu Xīn woke up with a start on her small bed, the sunlight streaming in from the window curtains that had never been fully closed. She hadn't even changed out of her clothes and had slept through the whole night. Just as she was trying to muster up the energy to get up and wash up, she suddenly remembered that she didn't have any classes that morning. Her original plan had been to find an empty classroom to study in, as the school's re-examination for graduate school admissions was just around the corner. Although everyone said that as long as you made it onto the list of recommended students, the written and oral exams at her own school were just a formality, the key was still finding a supervisor. But she had been working hard all along, hoping to use her abilities to win over Professor Zōu Jìn's approval.

  Just a dozen hours ago, Professor Zou, who had countless students from the same major inside and outside the school clamoring to learn from him, personally told her that she would be his last disciple, and he was even willing to do it without any return, just to be her foundation. But after she saw through the halo behind those unbearable things, did all this still make sense?

  She lay back on the bed, had just closed her eyes for a while, and was woken up by the familiar rhythm of knocking on the door. Yao Qiyun called her to get up and have breakfast outside.

  As soon as the door opened, he saw her messy hair and Yao Qiyun was surprised to laugh, "Didn't you say you were going to walk with me this morning?" He turned his head and looked around, except for the two of them, everyone else was already sitting at the dining table downstairs, so he said softly, "Why did you sleep so early last night? I got home after 9 o'clock, and you were already asleep."

  "I was originally going to wait for you to come back, but I ended up falling asleep while waiting..."

  She finished speaking, and inexplicably felt that the words were somewhat familiar. After careful consideration, it seemed that Qu Xiaojuan had also said something similar to Zou Jin. Sutu Jin shivered, she probably had a heart disease, being so afraid of her similarities with another person, even identical phrases felt awkward.

  Yao Qiyun quickly grasped Situ Xuan's hand, "What are you waiting for?" He was originally smiling, but gradually sensed that her spirit was not good, and his smile faded, worriedly asking: "What's wrong with you, are you ill?"

  "Maybe I've caught a cold, so I won't be going to school this morning."

  One night passed, and when all the urgency had settled down, Citu Xuan suddenly lost the desire to pour out her heart, especially in front of Yao Qiyun. She didn't need to bring up that disgusting bug again to disgust him once more, stirring up unnecessary conflicts. Besides, some things involved Wu Jiang's secrets. Maybe Wu Jiang was right, everyone has their own secrets.

  Yao Qiyun said: "Otherwise I'll also take a leave and stay home with you."

  "Alright, but I have to remind you that my mom is at home this morning." Siu Yuk secretly pointed downstairs, and indeed, a look of disappointment appeared on his face.

  As a result, he went to school alone. Si Tu Xuan locked herself in the house and tried to make up for the sleep that was stolen by nightmares last night. Maybe after she had a good sleep, she would realize that things were not as bad as she thought.

  At noon, Xue Shaoping learned that her daughter had a "cold" and called her to take medicine. Si Tu Jie secretly poured the medicine into the toilet bowl, and as soon as she came out, she received a call from Xiao Gen.

  On the other end of the phone, Xiaogen's excitement was palpable, as if he had been reborn. He said that he had just received a notice from the school office, and since he had missed the exam due to illness, they would give him another chance to take the make-up exam this weekend. Xiaogen knew that this second chance wasn't because his own miserable situation had moved heaven, so he repeatedly expressed his simple yet sincere gratitude to Sutu.

  Situ Xin's slight comfort from Xiao Gen was quickly dispelled by more doubts. Yesterday's meeting with Zou Jin ended in such an embarrassing way, and his previous refusal had been reasonable. He hadn't expected him to change his stance so suddenly. Considering he was already in Changchun, it was kind of him to call back specifically for this matter. Was he really just moved by her sincerity?

  "No need to thank me, the hospital proof was still obtained by Wu Jiang, I just handed it over to Professor Zou." Si Tu Xuan said to Xiao Gen, she thought for a moment and continued: "Speaking of which, the proof is fake. This time we were able to turn things around all thanks to your luck, but after all, it's not something to be proud of. Xiao Gen, don't make any more mistakes during the makeup exam, and from now on, let's just forget about this matter, okay? Don't mention it to anyone."

  Xiao Gen was still immersed in the joy of being reborn, and whatever Shi Tu Jue said, he naturally agreed. Shi Tu Jue suspected that he hadn't fully grasped his meaning, so he added another sentence: "My intention is that this matter, apart from you, me, and Wu Jiang, must not be told to anyone else."

  "This morning I saw Qiyun, he asked how my things were going, haha, does Qiyun count as someone else?" Xiaogen asked with a sly tone of an honest person.

  Xī zǐ jué felt a sudden headache. She and Yáo Qǐyún had not explicitly indicated their relationship to outsiders, but now it seemed that not only Tán Shǎo Chéng had figured it out, but even Xiǎo Gēn was aware of it in his heart. It turned out that this secret was only considered a "secret" by the parties involved themselves. However, what she needed to consider first at the moment was not this issue.

  "I'm talking about anyone, anyone!" Situ Xuan repeated, suppressing his temper, and only felt a little relieved after getting Xiao Gen's serious affirmative answer.

  At night, Xue Shaoping, who rarely rested at home, personally cooked a table of dishes. Situ Jiuan also had no engagements. After the family finished dinner and sat on the sofa eating fruit, Xue Shaoping suddenly asked casually, "Daughter, did you have a fight with Wu Jiang?"

  "Huh?" Situ Jin paused for a moment, looking at his mother in confusion, and also glanced at Yao Auntie who was washing dishes in the kitchen.

  "Alright, if you two aren't fighting, then why did Aunt Chen call home today and you refused to answer when you saw it was her number?" Xue Shaoping smiled wryly, "I said this morning how come I'm so listless, this cold came quickly and left quickly."

  "Whatever are you talking about? He and I just had a small argument, and what's more, it has nothing to do with my catching a cold. You're just making up a bunch of nonsense."

  "You see this kid, I just asked if they were quarreling, and she got so anxious that she jumped up and down." Xue Shaoping said to Situ Jiu'an with a smile.

  "You women are always so busy." Si Tu Jiu An looked at his own news with a "out of sight, out of mind" attitude.

  Situ Xuan was anxious, not because of his mother's words, but worried that the speaker was unintentional and the listener was intentional.

  She picked up a slice of orange, muttering, "Anyway, don't force me to be with him." As she moved, the bangle on her wrist accidentally collided with the glass fruit plate, producing a crisp knocking sound.

  Xue Shaoping followed the sound and looked at her bangle, frowning: "You're still wearing this bangle? It's a waste that your grandfather taught you how to appreciate jade from a young age, but you don't even have this much discernment, it's laughable."

  Regarding the bracelet that Xue Shaoping always wears, she has mentioned it more than once. In fact, not only her, but many people around her are surprised by this kind of jewelry, as Xue Shaoping puts it, it's better not to wear it at all.

  Situ Xuan turned his wrist and said, "I just like it, a thousand gold coins can't buy something that suits one's taste."

  "You'd really like these things, and there are better ones than this, to be honest I have one in my hand." Xue Shaoping seemed to have had enough of the brick-like thing in her daughter's hand, and before Citu Yue could say no, she got up and went upstairs.

  When she returned, there was an additional dark red brocade box in her hand. She handed the box to Situ Xuan and said, "What do you think of this?"

  Cai Tuo Ai had no choice but to open it, and inside the box on the brocade was a dense green jade bangle that seemed to be of high quality. She held it up in the lamplight and examined it carefully, and indeed its material, workmanship, and color were all excellent, crystal clear and translucent. Although in her heart nothing could compare to the bangle given by Yao Qi Yun, she couldn't help but admit that this one was truly lovely.

  "It's better than yours." Xue Shaoping said with a smile.

  "This is not good to compare." Xiāo Tù Jīn carefully put the jade back into the box and placed it on the tea table in front of her mother. She was a connoisseur, this thing even if it were placed among her grandfather's things couldn't be said to be an ordinary trinket.

  Xue Shaoping pushed it back again, "What's this for? I told you to take it away and play with it."

  "I don't want it. It's too expensive and wearing it on my hand is uncomfortable, I'd be heartbroken if it got scratched or bumped."

  "You silly child, since I gave it to you, how come everything is your problem? You can't even handle something like this, isn't that being petty?"

  Xī Tū Jiàn could only take it back again, fiddling with it, curiously asking: "Was this also given by Grandfather?"

  "This isn't it, it was given by Aunt Chen many years ago," said Xue Shaoping lightly.

  "Situ Xuan immediately rolled her eyes, 'Here we go again. Mom, just take it back, I'm fine with the one I'm wearing now.'"

  "What are you talking about? Since Aunt Chen gave it to me, that's my stuff." Xue Shaoping rebuked: "You can wear those messy things on your hand, but you can't wear the ones Mom gave you?"

  Yao Qiyun was still discussing current events on TV with Situ Ji'an, while Situ Xuan held a brocade box and let out a quiet sigh.

  When Dad and Mom returned to their room, Siu Yuk heard Yiu Hei Wan going up to the rooftop on the third floor to collect clothes. She tiptoed after him and suddenly hugged him from behind.

  "You're just a pig's head pickled in vinegar." She whispered in his ear.

  Yao Qiyun slowly turned her head and looked at her, asking: "Did you go to Zou Jin's house alone last night?"