Chapter Thirty-Three

  The graduate school application went through as smoothly as expected, but the result was beyond Si Tu Jue's expectation. Zou Jin's favoritism towards her made her a topic of discussion among her classmates again, after all, being able to follow such an awesome mentor is already a very impressive thing, let alone that Zou Jin is notoriously strict in selecting graduate students.

  Interestingly, most people discussing this matter did not have a deep sense of unexpectedness because if Zou Jin had to accept a student, whether from the obvious advantages on the surface or the guessing behind the scenes about someone's preferences, it seemed that there was no more suitable candidate than Situ Xuan.

  Those who mock themselves will say: "Whose fault is it that mom and dad didn't give me a good face?"

  "Some people are skeptical and ask: 'If you had a face just like Zhang Yimou's, could you achieve the same results as him?'"

  "It's not certain that his family didn't exert a lot of effort at home; reincarnation is indeed a profound subject." Those who thought they were more worldly-wise concluded thus.

  However, no matter how many people think so, most people have already gotten used to the fact that Situ Xuan is a role that should stand at the forefront and be admired by others. People always like to compare themselves with those who are roughly equal to themselves, but Situ Xuan has received too much favor from fate, and has plucked the peach that others who are far superior to her cannot reach no matter how hard they try. This envy also carries a hint of resignation. Moreover, people who have come into contact with her all think she's not bad as a person, and as for the rumors about the professor's private life, they're just rumors and can't be taken as true. For the time being, Situ Xuan is a lucky one.

  No one knew that this lucky child, who should have been enjoying her carefree days before graduation, was now trapped in a sense of unease she had never felt before. She found it difficult to explain to Qī Yún why she ended up becoming Zhōu Jìn's graduate student after all, no matter how hard she tried to prove that it wasn't her intention. All Qi Yun said was: "Forget it, do as you please." Xue Shao Ping felt relieved that his daughter had been admitted to the most outstanding expert in the industry, and kept mentioning that they should invite Professor Zhou to dinner as a courtesy. The joy of Si Tu Jiu An's boastful words made Si Tu Yuan unable to bear it, she simply couldn't imagine her father "accidentally" mentioning her daughter's achievement of being the first in the graduate school entrance exam in front of every client.

  When she calmed down, she often thought of Professor Gao's kind and meaningful smile, as well as Zou Jin's words on the phone. Some things were like ghosts hiding behind the curtains, she could vaguely sense something, but didn't dare to take a step forward to lift the curtain, and could only believe it was just the wind.

  Those days, Situ Xuan had some bizarre dreams, waking up with a troubled mind, but couldn't remember the plot of the dream. Only once, it seemed like she stepped into thin air, her whole body involuntarily shook violently, and a sharp laughter echoed in her ears. After a few seconds, she realized it was just her phone's ringtone. Rubbing her eyes, she found that it was already mid-morning, everyone in the house had gone to school or work, except for herself and Old Lady Yao.

  This was the last person she wanted to see calling her, and it was Zou Jin. Yesterday afternoon when she went to wait for Yao Qiyun to go home together, Zou Jin had already called once. At that time, Situ Xuan had already made up his mind that if he couldn't change his tutor, he would rather give up continuing his studies than become Zou Jin's graduate student, and didn't want to have anything to do with him again, so he didn't answer the phone. Yao Qiyun looked at her, Situ Xuan thought of saying something on his own initiative, but the other party didn't ask, if she hurriedly explained, it would be too deliberate, so she simply kept silent, pretending that nothing had happened, and unexpectedly this silence became a journey without words.

  When they were still far from home, Yao Qiyun would hold hands with Situ Xuan, and whenever they crossed the road, he would carefully protect her. Situ Xuan even didn't doubt that if a car lost control and passed by, he would be willing to use his body as her shield. However, she couldn't pretend not to notice, and the silent moments between them grew more frequent. Sometimes she would intentionally tell a joke or share an embarrassing story to ease the awkward atmosphere, but it only made herself look like a clown. By the time he tried to respond with interest, she had already lost her enthusiasm, and even her emotions were misplaced.

  It's hard to trace back where everything started, maybe Zou Jin's affair was a catalyst, or maybe the problem began even earlier, so early that it's uncertain when it started. Si Tu Jue could sense his cautiousness because she was the same, along the way they had too many quarrels, too many problems, and too many obstacles, repeatedly breaking up and getting back together, it wasn't easy to hold hands and walk to this day, can't afford to be messed with again. Just like a small pimple on the skin, repeatedly scratched, repeatedly scabbed, finally binding both hands and swearing not to touch it again, only to find that it ultimately couldn't heal into smooth skin.

  "Are you done yet?" Situ Jin's voice changed tone as she answered the phone, furious, and vented all her unpleasantness with Yao Qiyun on the person at the other end of the line.

  Zou Jin seemed unsurprised. "Sorry," he said. "I know you don't want to hear from me now, but there are some things I have to tell you right away."

  "I've said it ten thousand times, I'm not interested in your affairs, why do you have to drag me into this, what does it have to do with me?"

  "I thought I could handle things on my own and not drag you into it, but now...I'm sorry."

  This was the second time Zou Jin said sorry in this short conversation, but he wasn't a humble person. The ominous premonition in Situ Xuan's heart grew stronger and stronger, as if she had sensed the stormy atmosphere behind every word he forced himself to say calmly.

  The turmoil in her heart quietly receded, replaced by an extremely uneasy calmness.

  "What did you say happened?"

  Zou Jin remained silent for a while before speaking up, as if he was contemplating where to start.

  "One of my PhD students, not Xiaowen, is a boy, you know, Liu Zisu."

  "I know him." The image of that senior brother appeared in front of Situ Xuan's eyes, with a fair face, tall and slender, habitually slightly hunched back. As students from the same college, it was inevitable to have some impression of this senior brother, who had taught several undergraduate classes for Zou Jin before, and he was also San Pi's roommate. Situ Xuan remembered that once while waiting for the elevator, he hummed a sentence "Not reborn as a man, reborn as a woman", seemingly with ulterior motives.

  "I brought him for almost four years, he was studying for his master's degree in another school. When I first knew him, he was clever, diligent, had a strong desire to learn and progress, I really appreciated it, so I took him in exceptionally." Zou Jin spoke slowly, as if recalling the past, also as if trying to express himself more clearly, even the impatient Situ Yue didn't interrupt him.

  "I've said it before, I'm strict with my students, and it's not an exaggeration to say that I'm harsh. Zhi Su has been following me for these few years, and he hasn't been spared from scolding. But I've always treated him like one of my own. I asked him to delay his graduation because I didn't want to see him continue to be lazy and increasingly frivolous. I couldn't bear the thought of my student using shortcuts to do research. Since he calls me 'teacher', I have a responsibility to teach him well. I never expected that he would hold a grudge against me... I believed in him so much!"

  "What did he do?"

  Zou Jin's sorrowful regret began to turn into hesitation, as if the words that had reached his lips had too many difficult-to-speak reasons.

  "Zhi Su is not only my student, but also my assistant. He has been in charge of organizing all sorts of data and documents for me, and he often comes and goes from my residence. I don't know when he started harboring this intention, but he has been deliberately collecting evidence that could be used against me.

  Recently, he formally broke with me, demanding not only that I agree to his graduation but also that I put his name on several academic papers that are about to be published in a journal - and of course, there's the issue of money."

  Zou Jin sneered: "He thinks he made great contributions to the achievements I've gained, but all he got was a small share. In fact, he's only good at doing the most basic data organization work, which even an undergraduate student could do just as well if not better. He actually dares to think that I'm unfair to him and has been threatening to expose my private life if I don't meet his demands."

  "Private life?" Si Tu Xuan's voice was laced with disdain. "If he's blackmailing you, can't you just report it to the police? A clear conscience fears no accusations."

  Zou Jinchang let out a long sigh, "You're right, I'm indeed 'not upright', this is what gives others a handle. If it only involved me, then so be it, but some things once stirred up will inevitably drag in innocent people, and that's what I least want to see."

  "Since it's like this, do you plan on satisfying his demands?"

  "He knew I didn't dare not to agree, no wonder there's an old Chinese saying that goes: 'The barefooted are not afraid of the shod.' He's also a clever person, if he put his mind to scientific research, it wouldn't have ended up like this today. The most troublesome problem now is that even if I'm willing to compromise, things aren't that simple. Zhusu knows too much, and he's also brought in another person, and this person... has something to do with you, which is why I was anxious to call you."

  Situ Xuan was shocked, his scalp began to tingle. "Who?"

  "I believe you're not unfamiliar, Tan Shaochen."

  "What does she have to do with anything? And how is it related to me?" Si Tu Xuan was suspicious.

  Liu Zisu told her that there was a problem with the on-campus graduate school entrance examination results this time.

  Situ Xin found it hard not to think of her abnormal performance on the day of the written test and the unexpected final result, but she would rather believe that she was wrong.

  "What's wrong?"

  "Someone tampered with the papers during the final review, and there's only one person in the entire college who could have done it - you should already know who. Zhi-su found something off when he was organizing the exam papers."

  "Was he actually wronged by you?" Situ Xin looked terrified like a lost child.

  Zou Jin was silent for a while before finally making up his mind to speak.

  "That time you didn't do well on the test, at most you barely made it into the top ten interview list. Gao He Nian and his people knew I valued you highly, so I knew your interview score wouldn't be too high. It was me who swapped your scores with Tan Shao Cheng's, this matter has already been taken care of, originally there shouldn't have been any problems, unexpectedly Zhen Su he actually secretly took a photo of the original test paper. You're as competitive as I was when I was young, I know you want to win, so I just wanted to help you out..."

  "No, no, no! I'm not like you, how can I be like you? You are you, and I am me!" Si Tu Jue repeated incoherently, her palm sweating as she grasped the phone. She could accept that she had lost, but not in this way, it couldn't be like this!

  "So I want to apologize to you, it's my selfishness and confusion that harmed you and dragged you in. Now that Tan Shaocheng knows the truth, she is very emotional and I'm afraid she won't let go easily. Also, she demands a re-evaluation of this year's Fu Xuecheng Scholarship."

  "Then let her go, she can't swallow that breath, let her go, what am I afraid of!" Si Tu Jue said loudly. She didn't know if her movements had startled Grandma Yao downstairs, but she couldn't care about these things now.

  However, Zou Jin's answer was only one sentence.

  "Don't let her relapse."

  Situ Xuan's five thunderbolts struck the top. Whatever Zou Jin said afterwards was no longer important.

  "...Listen to me, if it wasn't for you that time, it wouldn't have been her turn either. But she just had to cling to this matter... I've talked to them about it, and they know this has nothing to do with you. The responsibility is all mine. Whatever conditions there are, just bring them up with me..."

  It was as if someone had suddenly pushed his head into the water, and Situ Xuan felt a sense of disorientation, as if he was separated from the real world by a layer. There was no breathing, no shouting, only a dull pain in his lungs, and a string of absurd bubbles in front of his eyes. His voice also had a dreamlike quality, floating on the surface of the water, sometimes near, sometimes far.

  She used to think that she didn't care how others lived, but she could take care of herself. There are always some things worth believing in and upholding when people live. Now she knows that she can't even rely on herself. Like a leaf, no matter how it shakes itself on the branch, as long as a gust of dirty wind blows, it will fall into the muddy water, who cares about its past tense, where did it come from?

  "What does she want me to do." She finally found her own voice again.

  "She wants to see you."