Chapter 42: Encounter with Memories

  Yao Qiyun was in critical condition several times on the way to hospital. A domestically-made off-road vehicle broke through the isolation belt at a speed of more than twice the limit and directly hit him, who was driving normally on the road after leaving Wujiang wedding banquet.

  After the incident, the traffic police department confirmed that the perpetrator was driving under the influence of alcohol. The car did not stop immediately after hitting Yao Qiyun and continued to collide with several small cars behind it. Several people in the cars, including the perpetrator himself, were injured to varying degrees, but Yao Qiyun was the most seriously injured because his car had borne the impact of the perpetrator's car from the side at the first moment, and the collision location happened to be near the driver's seat.

  Yao Qiyun drove according to the rules, except for the day when Situ Ke left home. He never sped, never drove against traffic, never ran a red light, and always used his turn signals correctly. His seatbelt was always securely fastened. Yet, his faith in the rules couldn't prevent someone who disdained them from bringing down a terrible accident upon him.

  Situ Xuan rushed to the hospital, and Yao Qiyun was still being rescued. She listened to the sound of her high heels echoing in the corridor, the red light outside the emergency room door flashing, and there were still bloodstains on the ground that had not been cleaned up yet. She suspected she had stepped on them and retreated a few steps, but the fresh smell of blood was even more intense, this blood's temperature had once been part of her life too.

  The door of the emergency room opened, and a doctor walked towards Situ Jiuan and his wife who were supporting each other and sitting near the entrance. It seemed that they had just received a critical illness notice. Situ's eyes were dazed, as if there was a spotlight shining down on him from above, the light was very bright and cold, but below it, everything was empty.

  Xue Shaoping saw her, broke free from her husband's grasp and rushed over, crying out: "He was supposed to go on a business trip today, but he insisted on attending the wedding. Who did he go for? We're living well as a family, what are you doing back here?"

  She wanted to push and pull Sze-to Yuen, but before her hand even touched him, she lost her balance and fell over. Sze-to Yuen quickly reached out to support her, standing there and letting her hit him, afraid that if he let go, she would fall again. Her mother was getting older, her body weaker by the day, so much so that the blows didn't even hurt, only managing to make Sze-to Yuen's body sway slightly.

  "Why did you come back? We thought you were dead. Why did you come back..." Xue Shaoping couldn't say anything else.

  "You're going to ruin your health like this." Si Tu Jiu An took his wife from his daughter and persuaded her in a melancholy tone: "Qiyun will definitely be able to get through this, we'll spare no expense to bring him back."

  He looked at his daughter, Situ Yuexi was used to his violent temper and instinctively shrunk back. Situ Jiuan didn't hit her, he said: "Qiyun is the only hope for me and your mom."

  Situ Xuan closed his eyes and tears flowed down. "Was I wrong to come back?"

  She sat outside the ICU for most of the night, while Situ Jiu'an and Xue Shaoping were still negotiating with the doctor in charge. Many people walked back and forth around her, she didn't know why she was staying here, like an irrelevant person.

  When it was almost daylight, Wu Jiang and Ruan Ruan also rushed to the hospital. Ruan Ruan had changed out of her cumbersome formal attire, but her hair was still styled in an updo that she hadn't had time to take down.

  "How is he?" They asked around Situ Xuan about Yao Qiyun's situation.

  Situ Xuan shook his head and pushed them outwards.

  "What brings you people to a place like this on your special day?"

  Wu Jiang said: "I went back and thought about it, but I still wasn't at ease. Since he was sent to our hospital, I came over to take a look."

  "He is him, you are you. We're all tired after a day's work, Wu Jiang, and yet you still dragged her over here. Go back, you're on vacation now, this has nothing to do with you guys."

  Ruan Ruan said: "We are actually worried about you."

  "Me?" Situ Xuan smiled wryly, "Actually, it doesn't have much to do with me either."

  She drove the Wujiang couple out of the hospital and got into a taxi in front of them. Outside, there were scattered small rains, which had been gloomy all day, and this rain was bound to come.

  Situ Xuan originally intended to return to the hotel, but the taxi drove for a long time. She felt dizzy and thought something was wrong, "Driver, where are you going? Is this direction wrong?"

  "Don't worry, I won't take you on a detour!" The driver said with a smile. As he spoke, he stopped the car at the side of a main road. "Didn't you say you wanted to go to Zhongshan North Road?"

  "What?" Situ Jin was momentarily stunned and refused to get out of the car, staring blankly at the window. When she left, there wasn't even this road, and the surrounding buildings were all completely unfamiliar. How could the name "Zhongshan North Road" possibly come from her mouth?

  It was someone who mentioned this road. Was it her parents who turned white overnight, or the traffic police who appeared in the hospital?

  The driver, with a puzzled expression, drove forward. Before long, she saw the skewed and broken guardrail, scattered shards of glass, and possibly even bloodstains, which had been diluted by the rain. If it weren't for these things, it would have been almost impossible to tell from the traffic, which had already returned to complete normalcy, what had happened here a few hours ago.

  "A terrible chain accident! It was almost fatal. I heard that the drunk guy panicked and accidentally stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake. The injured people were in a bad shape too... if it weren't for the good car, they would have been gone for sure. I wonder how many years the one who caused the accident will be sentenced to..." The driver pointed outside and exclaimed in amazement as he told Siu Yuk about this unbelievable urban legend.

  Situ Xin seemed to see the out-of-control off-road vehicle crazily rushing towards him, and in the flash of lightning, the approaching headlights made it impossible for anyone to see anything. What was he thinking at that moment? Why did he come here?

  Even with the city changing day by day, making it hard for Situ Xuan to get a sense of direction, she could still tell that this road was not the way Yao Qiyun should be taking back to the Situ residence from the hotel in Wujing where the wedding ceremony was held. His own place was said to be near the company, and the office of Jiu'andang was even farther away from here.

  Did he come all this way just to buy medicine for her mother?

  The taxi continued to move forward, and the sky had already completely brightened up. Although the tone was still gray due to the dark clouds and rain, the black veil of night was gradually lifted. As they passed by a construction site for a high-rise building, Situ Yue suddenly saw a steep alleyway with stairs, and many things came rushing in without warning, just like the car that had mistakenly stepped on the accelerator, and in an instant it could swallow people whole.

  "I'm holding your hand and walking... Don't sneak a peek..."

  "Slow down, don't make trouble."

  "Why give this to me?"

  "Why don't we start all over again..."

  Someone is laughing "heh heh", she can hear them, they are holding hands and running quickly in this small alley, some with their eyes closed, some with their eyes open, seeing the colors of being in love.

  Situ Xuan leaned his head against the back of the driver's seat and asked, "Master, is there a square ahead?"

  "Right, we call it Bell Tower Square, because there is a big bell on that square..."

  Behind the big clock is a small shop called "The Back of Time".

  There were people waiting for each other in the small shop.

  ……

  "Stop, stop! Don't go any further." Situ Jin slapped the front seat, flustered, and told the driver to turn around immediately and head in the direction of her hotel.

  Where is he going?

  Why did he go?

  She was afraid to go further forward, and the answer would float to the surface.

  She locked the door of her hotel room and searched for her medicine like a trapped beast, not even sparing the trash can. She regretted not bringing the medicine with her luggage, now without a prescription, she couldn't go to Wu Jiang again, he had reluctantly helped her once before, it was impossible for him to do it a second time.

  Certain that he couldn't get any help from the medicine, Situ Xian let the waiter send himself a bottle of wine. Thanking her for her usual rotten drinking capacity, he drank less than a third and threw up once, sleeping very well.

  When she woke up, she didn't know how long the doorbell had been ringing. Xīu Yuè went to open the door with a heavy head and light feet. At the other end, a servant holding a key hurried over, seeing that she was safe before walking away. At the doorway, Xue Shaoping also put aside her unease and worry when she saw Xiu Yue, replacing them with familiar disappointment and disapproval, but was much calmer than last night when she suddenly heard about Yao Qiyun's accident.

  The smell of wine on Situ Xuan's body should not have completely dissipated yet, but she felt that at this time neither she nor the other party would be too concerned about it.

  "Mom, do you want to come in and sit down?" asked Si Tu Jue hesitantly.

  "No, I think some things should be brought over to you." Xue Shaoping handed a bag to Sutu Yu. Sutu Yu took it and shook his head hard, the first thing he found in the bag was a bunch of keys.

  "The key is to his place, to be honest, your dad and I have never been to the house he bought later, he didn't mention it, we respect his private space. This morning I went to get some daily things for him, only to find out that he had a reason for not wanting us to go... You'd better take a look when you have time."

  Situ Xuan put the key back and returned the entire bag to her mother.

  "I'm not going. I have a seminar to attend tomorrow and still have a lot of things to prepare tonight, my ticket is already booked, the day after tomorrow I'll be back, later... maybe I won't come back again, you can rest assured." She lowered her head, but every word was spoken clearly.

  "You're leaving at this time? Xi Yun is still in the hospital and hasn't even passed the critical period!" Xue Shaoping was incredulous, and despite her good upbringing, she couldn't help but raise her voice.

  Situ Xuan took a deep breath, at this moment she didn't want to cry, crying was pointless, so she had to speak very slowly.

  "Mom, I can only say that it's very regrettable, yes, regrettable. I didn't want this to happen either, but if you insist on me taking responsibility for his accident, I won't agree."

  "How dare you say he wasn't waiting for you all along? If it weren't for you, would he be lying in the hospital?"

  "I've also waited for him, you don't understand what's going on between us. If I couldn't wait for him and something unexpected happened to me, would you let him be buried with me just because he didn't want to be with me?"

  "I didn't let you bury him with me."

  "I know, at this moment I should be in the hospital crying for him, that's what people do, past things don't matter anymore, if he died I would mourn for him, if he was disabled I would take care of him for the rest of his life, it's very touching and great, but why do I have to be so great? I don't want others to feel moved by me, now I have my own life. Every day there are so many people lying in hospitals because of car accidents, what can I do? Yao Qiyun and I completely ended things seven years ago, I don't want to talk about who was right or wrong anymore, but for me he is no different from a stranger. You can say that I owe you, owe dad, because I am unfilial, but I don't owe Yao Qiyun anything!"

  Xue Shaoping tightly grasped the shoulder strap of her backpack, took a deep breath and said, "Who did you learn to be so ruthless from?"

  Situ Xin did not speak, perhaps she had simply learned to protect herself.

  The seminar ended smoothly. Sutu Jin represented her employer to release a brief industry report, under the promotion of Fu Zhi Shi, most participating merchants gave high praise to her report. After the meeting, Fu Zhi Shi and Tan Shaocheng came forward to persuade her to stay for a few more days, but Sutu Jin finally decided to return the next day according to the original plan.

  On the day of departure, she went to the hospital again to visit Yao Qiyun. Although the hospital made every effort to rescue him at the request of the Situ family, he showed no signs of improvement. Xue Shaoping didn't say anything else to Situ Yue, and when Situ Yue sat down, she even politely poured a cup of tea for Situ Yue.

  Situ Xuan took a sip and said that it's not bitter or sour, but what's even more unbearable is the feeling of powerlessness. They say blood is thicker than water, yet they always push each other to a dead end, until they reveal their most extreme and ugliest side.

  Xue Shaoping's waist forced her to stand for a short time, and sitting down could only make her feel better if she leaned forward slightly. Like Situ Jiuyan, from now on, she would only become more and more elderly.

  This sadness made Situ Xin no longer able to pretend not to see, she tried to put aside all the unpleasantness, saying that she had to go back and deal with things on that side, but if they were willing, she could come back, take over the burden that should have belonged to her from Yao Qiyun's body, accompany them, take care of them, and even they could go abroad together, whatever it was, as long as the two elders were willing to forget the past, say a word "You are still our daughter", rather than "Marrying Yao Qiyun is already your best choice".

  Xue Shaoping said calmly: "I have only one son. You have your own life."

  Before rushing to the airport, Situ Xuan still went to Yao Qiyun's place. What drove him to make this decision was the wallet he carried with him when something happened. Xue Shaoping insisted that she didn't take back what she gave to Situ Xuan, and the wallet was among a pile of scattered items, with the cash and cards neatly arranged inside, just like Yao Qiyun's usual style, without any surprises. Situ Xuan even thought there might be one or two old photos inside, but in fact, there weren't. Just as Situ Xuan was puzzled by his mother's intention to give her the wallet, he found a few strands of long hair in the inner layer of the wallet. Those hairs were neatly stored together, and it was clear that they appeared there not by chance. Situ Xuan later compared them with the hair he pulled from his head at the time, and they were identical in color, length, and curl. They were what she left on him after their passionate encounter in the bathroom.

  If the hair was just shocking to Sito, then when she opened Yao Qiyun's residence with a key at that moment, she had completely lost her mind.

  She now understood why, seven years later, she returned to her old home only to find that every arrangement and decoration in the house was no longer as she remembered. Yao Qiyun had almost moved all of the original furniture from the Sutu family's old home to his "new" residence, especially the bedroom on the second floor where Sutu Yu lived, and the room on the first floor where she used to live, which later belonged to Yao Qiyun. It was as if everything had been moved here intact, down to the smallest detail. Sutu Yu couldn't believe her eyes, it was as if time and space had turned upside down, and she had returned to the past. Some small objects, such as the photo frame on her desk, the alarm clock on her bed, and the old faded teddy bear pillow, she had forgotten that she even had these things, but now they jumped out from the tomb of her memories, quietly squatting in their original positions, staring at the person who had returned from another time and space.

  Soon, Situ Xin found the telegraphic transfer slips she had sent to her parents over the years in her desk drawer, later deposit receipts, and even the mysterious pills Wu Jiang had given her before disappearing after returning home. There was also a business card from an adult entertainment establishment that she had playfully slipped into Yao Qiyun's pocket... Anything he could get his hands on related to her had been quietly collected and preserved in this room haunted by memories.

  Yao Qiyun said: "I'm afraid my memories are like sand in an hourglass, getting less and less, until one day they'll be blurry. Ah Yue, it's been seven years, I'm about to forget what you look like when you smile, the sound of your voice... Because I'm too weak, afraid of pain, don't dare to think about it all the time, but also don't want to forget. So after you left, I still live in our memories."

  This was a text message he had edited but not sent, stored in the draft box of his phone, dated the day before she returned to her country. She rummaged through his phone and found no record of her phone number. Perhaps this was like those notes in the black boxes in "The Time Traveler's Wife", just a dream at that moment, packed up but destined for nowhere.

  Situ Xuan sat in front of the old desk, looking around. Yao Qiyun's room was originally a single-person space, and he had locked himself inside, but suddenly someone squeezed in, and he dodged, avoided, and slowly got used to it, eventually complaining about the cramped space while busily adding furniture. Finally, one day, this person could no longer bear it and returned the space to him, but having grown accustomed to the cozy nest for two, he found it empty and desolate. He tried to find a new roommate, only to discover that every piece of furniture in the house was tailored to the previous occupant, and he had lost the heart to replace them, leaving him with nothing but solitude.

  Situ Xuan still held a grudge against Yao Qiyun, wondering how one could easily say "forget". The word "forget" originally consisted of the characters for "death" and "heart", meaning that one had to kill off a part of their heart. She couldn't forget because the past pain was too intense. Situ Xuan repeatedly fantasized about Yao Qiyun's regretful appearance, imagining him trapped in memories unable to extricate himself. However, precisely because she had rehearsed this scene in her mind countless times, when reality finally arrived, after the initial pleasure passed, she discovered that she hadn't gained as much satisfaction as she thought, and his suffering didn't make her feel any better.

  In her fantasies, Yao Qiyun's confessions had long been comforted by Sutu Xuan in the long years, which was enough for her. The real Yao Qiyun had become less important, she would rather he lived well, slowly growing old in a space that had nothing to do with her.

  Situ Xuan arrived at the airport, still a long way from takeoff time. Lin Jing had an unexpected meeting but promised to rush over and see her off. They agreed to meet at the Thai restaurant in the airport and have dinner together.

  Xī Tù Jìn had been waiting, and in the process of waiting, she repeatedly looked at her watch. The light in the restaurant was not very bright, with black decorative lines and dim blue lighting. As time passed minute by minute, her hopes gradually faded away. Just on the eve of despair, the person she was waiting for suddenly appeared under a black umbrella, braving the rain.

  He stood opposite, dusty and disheveled, as if he had traveled a long distance.

  "Am I too late, Ah Wei?"

  Situ Xuan happily stretched out his hand, and Mrs. Yao's bracelet was still spinning around her wrist.

  The distant bell rang out, and this day had been declared over, but their time had just begun.

  ……

  Lin Jing said that when she woke up Situ Xuan, there were tears on her cheeks.

  "Had a nightmare?"

  Situ Xuan shook his head.

  Two people simply finished their meal, Wu Jiang still came. Ran too quickly, one breath almost couldn't catch up.

  "Just made it..."

  "Didn't I tell you not to send it, how did you come again? Looking at your sweaty face, those who don't know would think something's happened." Si Tu Jue's tone was very relaxed, but she stood up involuntarily. Wu Jiang's brief silence froze her smile on her face, making her look a bit helpless. Perhaps from the moment Wu Jiang appeared, she had already had some kind of premonition, hoping for his denial to dispel the unease in her heart.

  Wu Jiang put his hand on Sutu's shoulder, "The situation over there isn't too good, the injury is too severe, the most critical part is the head trauma. My colleagues have done their best, we thought there would be a turning point, this afternoon for a moment everyone thought he had shown signs of waking up, but... just like your mom said, it's as if he wanted to let himself drift off to sleep. When she found me and asked if there was still hope, I couldn't bear to suggest that she prepare for the worst, but in reality we can only do our best and leave the rest to fate."

  Xīng Tuò was stunned and muttered a "thank you", without any further reaction.

  Wu Jiang was somewhat worried and turned to stroke her arm, "Listen to me, Sutu Xue, if you're sad, just cry it out, don't hold back."

  "I'm fine." Situ Xin suddenly turned around and rushed to find her luggage. "I have to go."

  "Are you really going to leave?"

  "Uh, I have to go now. Listen, the broadcast is already urging us." She hastily picked up her coat hanging on the back of the chair, and when she relaxed her hand, the coat fell to the ground. She bent down to pick it up, but didn't get up for a long time after crouching down.

  Lin Jing sighed and picked up Si Tu Jue's suitcase for her.

  Situ Xuan looked at Lin Jing, tilting her head back and speaking like a child: "I forgot to tell you, actually before you came, I had a very good dream, just like it was real, more realistic than now."

  Lin Jing and Wu Jiang exchanged a glance, following her words, asked: "Is it about you?"

  "Wait, no, it's about others. But I'm happy for the people in my dreams, at least they're complete..."