Nil

  I should’ve realized that when Krahinn said something was going to be awful, it was going to be something truly agonizing. Why Luna kept glaring at Krahinn became apparent almost immediately after trying to use my once. My body felt lighter than a feather and like I could run for miles without stopping once I drank it, but trying to use my quickly showed why Krahinn resorted to it. All it did was shield my body from the damage, the potion did nothing to protect me from the sensation of my getting pressurized and forcefully discharging the . You could probably have fried eggs on my eyes with how hot they felt. was purely used to get the sensation of how properly using the should feel. I cast it again, wondering how to interpret the value.

  Luna stroked my hair and horns as I replayed my failure in my mind. I could feel the fluctuation before my entire body surged from the . I was not looking forward to the agony that waited for me at the end of this ride if this was supposed to be the pleasant portion. Or at least the part that sucked the least of what was to come. I got down fairly quickly, but getting my working felt like I made almost no progress after two hours and fifty-seven minutes. I needed to succeed, my time to get this working was rapidly dwindling. I shook my head as I needed a different thought.

  The events of the day just kept replaying in my mind; Nyx made a literal army out of my failures. I fought the urge to sigh or scream as I mulled it over. From one life to the next I was back on a perpetual clock and time crunch. Luna poked me, looking a bit concerned. I let out a deep, dramatic breath to focus myself a bit as whining and sulking were not productive at the moment. Like Krahinn said, my only way was through. I replayed Krahinn’s description in my mind a bit more while trying to visualize how this was supposed to work. According to him, envision someone’s coming to reality as I bent the with my .

  Again, I attempted to replicate the sensation of through my to see if maybe something would change, reinforcing my eyes a bit with hoping for a slightly better result. Powerful fluctuations went through the space around us as it surged back against me, making my eyes feel super heated for a few moments as Krahinn dissipated the damage. Despite him protecting me from the severe portion, shooting agony roared through my eyes and skull. It felt like my eyes were being pressurized just enough to keep them from boiling out of my skull. I was clutching my face, trying my hardest not to scream. How bad was what came after this? I had to endure, and I knew I was not getting to sleep either. My time for breaks was for when it was physically impossible to move for a bit.

  What was I doing wrong? Krahinn couldn’t give me a much better explanation as his original four were quite thorough on trying to describe the sensations. Wait, Krahinn never said try to replicate with my . Now that I was thinking through what Krahinn said a bit better, his description was purely describing the and nothing else; was purely to get a feel for moving the , not what I was actively trying to do. I took a few composing breaths as I thought of how to use just my . The entire sensation and likely went through only my . With that vision in mind, I tried again. I poured into my similar to when I used , seeing shimmers of Luna’s movement around her. I began bending the , wanting to manifest her in front of us.

  There was good news, this was distinct improvement over the entirety of my other attempts. Unfortunately, I got to learn my attempts up until this point were not even remotely close to making this work. From my eyes down I could have sworn I felt my body detonate from my as the completely overwhelmed me. It all reverted in an instant as I was panting on the ground, feeling the pain of my body ripping itself apart linger. My eyes still felt like they were dripping between my fingers as I clutched them. Luna used to soothe me as I was fighting the urge to bawl. That hurt, that hurt far more than anything I tried so far. Something clicked. He just rewound time a few seconds to before I activated my so I never took the in the first place. It didn’t dissipate the pain all the way as my brain still perceived it, but it stopped me from accumulating multiple severe .

  “If that’s the method you were going to use, why did I need to drink these vials?” I inquired, trying to contain just how bad that hurt.

  “It is to buy me the rough second I need to activate it. It also gives a slight margin of error so there is no lasting harm from this. There was the added benefit of while you were figuring out the sensation of me not needing to shield and dissipate the as much. Now that you know the starting point, you better be ready to endure that sensation every attempt until you get it right. Make no mistake, that level of is crippling even once, let alone repeatedly. The more margin we can give ourselves the better. I know it hurts, but you need to persevere.” Krahinn explained. He at least sounded sincere, which was a bit comforting. Not a lot, but it was better than nothing.

  “I didn’t see what happened.” Luna confessed. She seemed a bit ashamed of that fact for some reason.

  “Because Krahinn turned back the clock the second or so before I activated it. The failure I think detonated my eyes.” I informed her, trying to find it in me to try again. Luna looked a bit horrified.

  “Do not dwell on that Nil; forward is the only way.” Krahinn instructed. He was right, not that it made me feel any better.

  “It’s okay, Nil. You’ll get there. I know you can do it.” Luna assured me. But I had to; a lot was riding on my ability to figure this out.

  I sighed as I replayed my last attempt in my head. It at least did what I needed it to, and my attempt did manage to bend the with my . The feeling of my eyes and detonating from the strain replayed in my mind as well. I shuddered as I shoved that thought down. I had to keep it together for now; after this ordeal I was going to bawl like a bezka as I screamed at the top of my lungs. Not what I needed to focus on. I begrudgingly began another attempt. I could see the motions of Luna around her as I began engaging my ; I held it a bit more, seeing the around us swirl. Unlike Tenebrae, where we were was deprived of ambient , so it was just the of the three of us. Weirdly, I could see these faint lines floating through the . Several were gently swaying around, seeming to be attached to nothing, a few went to me, and they resembled strands as they went to Luna. Out of curiosity, I tried pulling on one with the exerted from my .

  My curiosity was rewarded with the violently bending between us before another surge blasted my eyes out of my skull. Fire erupted through my , scorching every nerve it could find. Before the sensation got much worse, Krahinn turned back time a few seconds while I clutched my face again. Luna used her to soothe the pain and heal any residual little damage that I might have had. The sensation of her against me feeling nice was doing more than anything else. Those strings were likely some remnants or artifacts of the the could see. Pulling on them was definitely not the correct move as that surge was violent and uncontrolled. I rubbed my face a few more times, mentally preparing to activate my again.

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  I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths as the last of the pain dissipated. How did I need to manipulate those strings? Were they even necessary? What I thought was a light tug nearly evaporated my body from existence. I went through the initial steps again, getting back to the point that I could see the strings. I shook my head. Getting the blasted to work was the first step; getting it to work well was for after that. Thinking it over, it made sense that the had some traceable part given it was around us constantly. It at the end of the day was still a construct.

  That was an interesting thought, why would Kron need to invoke their own construct to do this? Would it be to simplify the usage, or was that the wrong way of looking at it? Technically, I was borrowing the and what made function to try and manifest it with . But, Kron had to measure it somehow. Kron somehow had to come up with a measurement of a person’s actions. How did it determine bad from good? I attempted to gently coax the strings with my eye, once again eviscerating myself with the sheer amount of it produced. I lay on the ground, eyes closed as pain rampaged throughout my body. I began to pray, hoping Kron would be able to hear it despite the fact I was in an isolated . It was worth a shot, never know what might happen. The world slipped around me for a moment, as I found myself in a similar, albeit definitely Lord constructed, .

  “Thanks Kron.” I stated immediately, seeing their familiar shape.

  “I noticed your last attempt to talk with me was rudely hijacked by Nyx, and I can only imagine how that went. Then you prayed to me from a in Ygdazi. So, what flavor of desperate are you currently?” Kron taunted. I could feel their smugness as their blank form stared at me.

  “I will be honest; I did want to ask you for a favor. Nyx created some odd construct that piggybacked a or construct of sorts off of when I cast to create a army of a person that utterly despises me, and now said army is about to be released upon Umbra.” I explained to Kron. Kron began chuckling much to my chagrin.

  “I will say, never a dull moment when you need a favor. That is quite the pickle you find yourself in.” Kron teased. That wasn’t a no thankfully.

  “I know your ability and willingness to interfere or intervene are limited, so I just want to ask you a tangential question. How does work? How do you get the to measure someone’s karma for lack of a better word?” I inquired. Kron mulled it over as they began chuckling harder.

  “Someone is trying to get my to work. Not some half-hearted usage of it either, but rather the full ability imbued within it. That is a good steppingstone to making that ability work, though I imagine the idea is to use the to forcefully turn your opponent’s to zero and use the resulting manifestation to probably kill them. If it is of a sufficiently negative value, which I would gander someone being assisted by Nyx would possess, that is quite an effective tool against a large army.” Kron deduced. Well, Kron at least understood what I was after. Now whether they were in a good enough mood to help me was the question. Or if they felt like being generous.

  “I have maybe thirty hours to get it working and able to repeat it well enough to face the army.” I added on, hoping Kron would give me some insight.

  “One second.” Kron replied while putting a finger to my head. I could feel Kron scan my brain for a second as I felt annoyance dripping off of them.

  “Nyx made sure to obscure her words from being replayed by a fellow Lord meaning she played with what she’s supposed to do.” Kron sighed in annoyance, shaking their head.

  “That’s possible?” I checked as I was kind of surprised.

  “No, she simply put a shrouding over what she did as she talked to you that distorts any replay of the memory through a like to use an example you know. As much as I generally loathe stooping to her level, I feel I am not going to let what she did here slide entirely.” Kron informed me. Yes! I felt a massive flood of relief.

  “Thank you so much!” I told Kron immediately, jumping in joy.

  “I wouldn’t get too excited there, Nil. I am still bound by the . However, I do have enough for some direct insight.” Kron pointed out. I would take it. Insight from the Lord themselves would hopefully help substantially.

  “I will still take it. Thank you so much for any insight you are willing to provide.” I replied enthusiastically.

  “I saw you managed to see the little artifacts left by the , which while able to bend and adjust massive folds of the at once, I would highly advise against trying to manipulate those currently as that is not the unique portion of my . Krahinn could do that trick if he ever felt so inclined, not that the sort of is overly useful.” Kron explained. I nodded along, making sure to commit every detail to memory.

  “Understood.” I said, wondering what Kron was about to say next.

  “ measures how the thought and actions of one being influenced another, as well as the intent. It is a massive construct I personally tied into the to create a sort of measuring standard with Utol to determine who deserved help or punishment should we ever want to intervene or do something. It mainly exists to assist Utol with determining whether to move a soul into their next life or destroy them quickly so she doesn’t have to judge their life each and every time. Trying to concisely summarize that would be a massive waste of time as that’s not actually what you want from me.” Kron informed me. What? How? On paper that is exactly what I wanted.

  “I understand the confusion, but I am not going to clarify that point as it uses too much . The part you care about is this: my can rapidly condense the to enact a vision. Each of our can be described in a manner similar to that by the way; a singular phrase of what they are able to twist the into doing. Krahinn was absolutely correct in stating mine can manifest what can be. His description also was pretty spot on, with a minor flaw or two but given what he had to work with to learn that it is still massively impressive.” Kron elaborated for me.

  “What do you mean condense the to enact a vision?” I inquired. Kron bobbled their head back and forth a little bit as they thought of how to phrase their answer.

  “You are doing it backwards. You were trying to manifest an with the to zero it out; you should be manifesting what will zero it out with the . What can be; the value can be zero, and my shall make it so.” Kron answered. That made sense! I could use that! That was an amazing reference point!

  “Thank you so much!” I told Kron, hugging them in excitement.

  “Good luck, Nil. Hopefully we get to speak again.” Kron stated as I felt myself slip back to Ygdazi. I saw Luna and Krahinn looking at me; both looked concerned, but Krahinn had this seething anger as he looked at me.

  “How much time passed?” I checked immediately. Krahinn was glaring at me, his eyes glowing dangerously.

  “Almost thirty minutes.” Krahinn snapped, sounding irritated.

  “It was worth it!” I assured him, shooting to my feet.

  With Kron’s words echoing in my mind, I began using my again. Getting to the proper sensation of where I could see the was taking too long, but I had time to practice that. Please work. Please tell me I had the right idea. Wait, if I wanted to practice, I needed to not zero it out but take an amount off. One hundred should be fine, I could do that plenty of times while hopefully being noticeable. The mechanism and process behind how it worked was a bit shaky for my liking, but I exerted through my , instead of bending the , pulling it together as I envisioned dropping Luna’s by a hundred. A small, warm light radiated out around us, and Luna looked illustrious as she glowed faintly. Krahinn shielded me from the massive as the approach was off, but it didn’t require him to reverse the clock this time.

  “Why did you heal me? Or do some odd buff on me?” Luna inquired as she didn't grasp what just happened. I jumped in joy as Krahinn now looked more concerned than angry.

  “It worked!” I cheered, still feeling the pain from the Krahinn stunted.

  “Way to go Nil!” Luna praised me, giving me a massive hug. I still had a long way to go with very little time to work with.

  “Congratulations Nil. Now, you need to keep practicing as that was woefully short of what we need.” Krahinn told me. He was right, but thankfully there was finally some light in this tunnel.