Nil

  My body was not given the luxury of breaking down despite how much it was protesting the current training regimen. Krahinn and Luna forcefully kept me moving as this training was taking an immense toll on my body which had the odd sensation of feeling like held together shattered glass. I already could feel the withdrawals of the elixir Krahinn warned about when it began wearing off because the one time it got close the sensation made me collapse in agony. How long was left? How long had the three of us been here? Time... what time was it? It was starting to get all kinds of fuzzy how long we'd been in this ; I had to think for a few more seconds to actually remember the time. If I recalled correctly, we had just over ten hours before we needed to return to Tenebrae. I was not sure whose gaze was more concerning to me at the moment, Krahinn or Luna. Luna looking at me like I was on death’s door was not doing much for my morale either as my body was already shaking from the built-up damage of this monstrous training while I slowly got back to my feet.

  “Nil, take a break.” Luna suggested as my body was protesting be dragged forward. How many times have I nearly detonated my own skull? Nope, not a number I wanted to currently know.

  “Keep going.” Krahinn ordered. I hated to admit it, but I felt like he was correct. I needed to train as much as physically possible and even beyond that.

  “I’m fine.” I insisted, ignoring the sensation of my body barely keeping it together.

  “You clearly are not. Krahinn, he needs a break.” Luna protested while glaring at Krahinn. Did I look that bad? Probably. My body felt fine and awful at the same time because while I was not in pain I just had this sense of how much stress had built up in my body.

  “His break is in ten hours. Until then, each moment is precious, and we do not have time to waste squabbling.” Krahinn shot back. His eyes were glowing with , but his face clearly was concerned when he looked at me.

  “Why do you look so concerned? It’s been bugging me.” I asked Krahinn. Both of their gazes had me concerned being honest though he clearly had something on his mind he was not telling us.

  “Not relevant. You need to be better at using that of yours; time is not our friend currently.” Krahinn answered. Did we press him for the actual answer? Would that help? Maybe a small pause as I waited for inspiration. Any moment some inspiration would come, I just needed to give it a minute.

  “Krahinn, would it kill you to answer the question?” I sighed as I mentally prepared for the next round of practice. Krahinn let out a long sigh as he looked at us.

  “Focus on your training, Nil. My concern is not immediately relevant to now. I know this is taxing, I know this is unpleasant, but I need you to power on. Luna, I get your concern for Nil, but this is not the time for it. I appreciate the fact it took nearly twenty hours to reach this point; however, we need to keep going.” Krahinn informed us. That was not a reassuring answer; I also knew Krahinn was not going to budge from what he was currently saying.

  “You are a well of support.” Luna spat at him. Krahinn was here at least, trying to make time and happen so Ryker didn't raze Umbra completely.

  “All roads lead to Rome.” I stated bitterly, refining in my head how to approach using my . Was I struggling to focus? Just a bit, maybe.

  “What does that mean?” the two asked in unison. Oh yea, Rome was not a thing the two of them would know.

  “If we argue with him, we are going to end up training after the brief discussion. Regardless of what actions we take, our final destination is going to be the arduous practice we are trying to avoid. As much as I hate it, we need to keep moving forward.” I explained. This was my unfortunate reality for now.

  “Correct.” Krahinn confirmed for us. At least he wasn't smiling at us as this happened. That was a silver lining, he looked just as invested.

  “Nil, you don’t need to back him up.” Luna informed me while she stroked my hair a bit. Her hand felt so warm and pleasant as it stroked my hair.

  “He is right; cold but right.” I told her. I needed to survive this first before worrying about that, even if the question plagued the back of my mind.

  I was currently on step three at least, working on being able to manifest my vision with the . Luna’s had dipped considerably from the practice it took to reach this point, but I wasn’t blasting my head apart when I used it. My eyes barely heated up now, though that was not good enough for Krahinn. I needed to not focus on that for now. What did I need to do? Kron confirmed my manifested what could be which was unfortunately much easier said than done. My mind was getting kind of foggy as I tried concentrating on it; everything felt like I was in a haze from this training. I had to endure another ten hours of this. Could I do it? Would my body and mind even keep it together until then? The combination of Luna, Krahinn, and his elixir were forcing my body to keep going forward at least. Was there a limit on how far this could be pushed? What happened if I hit it? These weren't the questions I needed to ask, that was for later. Focus Nil. Why was I struggling to focus?

  What did I need to do? Manifest what could be. Everything was blurring together as I was trying to think of how to use the . Could one of these thoughts please come to the forefront? Just one would do. All of them just blended together as I tried picking one out to try. Luna was still stroking my hair gingerly as I thought about the . Luna was so nice and warm. I relaxed a bit into her hand, enjoying her warmth for a minute. That was a pleasant thought in this nightmarish training, a bit of light in this bleak, dreary tunnel. My eyes felt a bit heavy as I was using my to try and manifest some possibility flowing through my mind. The thought of us together, happily married. Luna was so kind, compassionate, and just felt right to be around. Her hand felt so serene as I felt our intertwine a bit.

  Stolen novel; please report.

  “NIL! STOP NOW!” Krahinn roared, kicking me across the . What? I felt the impact of his kick, but no damage. It completely jarred me from my thoughts. What was I thinking? It was something pleasant.

  “What was that for?!” Luna yelled at him, not grasping why he suddenly launched me across the space.

  “You are welcome. Nil, that is the right idea, but do not try that particular vision.” Krahinn snapped as he summoned me back to near them. It was such a nice thought though, whatever it was made me all warm and tingly.

  “What? What happened?” I asked, trying to power through the mind fog. Krahinn grabbed me, looking at my eyes.

  “That’s not good, it’s starting to get to you. That didn’t take anywhere near as long as I would have hoped.” Krahinn grumbled. Luna was still looking furious at Krahinn.

  “Why did you kick Nil?” Luna pressed angrily. What was I about to do?

  “Someone finally was about to get the full application to work in a way he did not intend. I guess you being here is a double-edged sword.” Krahinn explained. Wait, would that have worked? Thinking of Luna like that?

  “Can you clarify?” Luna pressed as I felt crimson. Did I even have enough for that?

  “A certain hopeless lover here was thinking about the future of you two together as his wife; his can potentially make something like that happen. I stopped that before we saw how it played out given his delirious state and what it technically constituted. Nil might be getting to incoherent to keep going, which is seriously not good.” Krahinn elaborated. Was I that out of it? My mind just kept wandering was the issue.

  “Why would that have worked? Nothing else I tried came close to succeeding.” I asked as I rubbed my face a bit. I just needed to wake up a bit, freshen my mind a little.

  “Because it’s something you were able to desire and envision enough for it to actually work. For future reference, do not try or think along those lines because I do not imagine it will end well. The mindset you were getting in was correct, so try that again with a different idea.” Krahinn explained. It was obvious that I needed to be able to envision the effect. Was it?

  “Nil, please just take a minute to recover; this is clearly beginning to take a serious toll on you." Luna pleaded with me. Luna turned me to face her, with her emerald eyes gazing intensely at me.

  Krahinn cleared his throat, jarring me from that train of thought. I desired the other things I had tried until this point, so what made that one so special? I looked at Luna, feeling the calming warmth over me. Was that the secret to making the work? I had to truly desire what I envisioned? Or I had a clear vision of what it entailed? It likely was some combination of those two I had been lacking for my other attempts. Manifest what could be. Was that the distinction? It might be easier to manifest events that were more possible, while severely destructive and taxing to manifest ones that were wilfly improbable. Was that my issue? If I held out my hand, there was a zero percent chance a glass of water would magically appear without some outside interference. Was that right? Was I thinking about this correctly? My brain hurt from all this exertion.

  Hold on, would it be possible for me to not be tired from all of this? For my mind to not feel fatigued from all of this practice? I began activating my , imagining myself refresh and mentally sharp, the feeling of knowing how much time had passed off hand, the ability to focus on what I needed to, and the lack of fog in my mind. The bent to my will as my plummeted, my eyes felt like they were seconds from detonating yet again, and my were forced to remain together out of spite. Krahinn looked at me, clearly curious what I just did to expend so much . I nearly let out a massive breath of relief because my mind instantly felt clear again, almost fully rested actually. I doubted I was able to repeat that as much as I wanted given the it inflicted due to it being a highly improbably event. At least there was a way to get my mental clarity back for the remaining ten hours. Now was not the time to dread that.

  “You suddenly look a lot better, what did you do?” Luna inquired, sounding quite concerned.

  “Used my to make it where I am clear to think properly again. That at least gave me the sensation of how to use it, now I just need to refine it to where I will not die from using it.” I explained. This was still a stop gap solution, but it at least was a step in the right direction.

  “Make no mistake, the accumulated is still there Nil, you only were able to restore your mind with . Now you just need to practice that use of your so when it comes down to it, you can efficiently use that ability.” Krahinn instructed. I sighed as I knew this was not going to end well.

  “Using your to change your mental state like that has to be dangerous at best.” Luna lectured. From the it produced, she was undeniably correct. I think it was a necessary evil with how out of it I was getting. That chilling thought got shoved down.

  “I am aware, I just needed something to get a starting point. I appreciate your concern, Luna. It is not something I intend on relying on as my body is barely keeping it together from how much strain that caused. I at least can think clearly again which is what I needed.” I informed her. My body was getting increasingly uncomfortable as I could the strain building up, but it did not impair my ability to function, yet.

  “Nil, you are pushing yourself well beyond what anyone should. I am getting concerned at what will happen when we survive this.” Luna confessed as she looked at me with so much concern in her eyes. It was so brutally obvious, so just how far out of it was I?

  “I imagine this elixir is going to let me reach that point before I learn what true suffering is. It’s fine, it’s a price I’ll gladly pay to keep us safe.” I told her.

  “While this is quite moving, you need to keep practicing. Envision, conjure, or think of whatever idea you need to for that to work. We are already on borrowed time of our own creation.” Krahinn lectured. I sighed in irritation as I knew no matter what, tomorrow was going to be do or die.