Chapter Eighteen: Jealousy

  After a few days of vacation, it was time to return to school. Jing Xin An had forgotten all about it as she was excited about her master's return, and only remembered when the teacher called her on the phone. She apologized profusely, but the class advisor wasn't angry at all, instead happily told her that her grades were actually first in the grade.

  Ji Xin'an was only happy for a while when he heard the news, and then he went busy with his own affairs.

  But she forgot that not everyone else did, Yu Yao's state had been very poor since the New Year's Eve party, and when she saw her transcript after the semester, her mood hit rock bottom. From small to large, being the first in everything, she was unexpectedly surpassed by an inconspicuous Ji Xin'an, her heart filled with a sense of powerlessness.

  The following days, no matter what I did, I had no mood. Even my favorite piano hadn't been touched for several days. Every day was either locked at home or sitting in a deserted corner.

  Today, I unknowingly walked into her usual training ground, looking at the noisy crowd, and suddenly felt that I didn't have a sense of presence compared to them.

  "Yao Yao, how did you end up here? Aren't you the one who dislikes fighting and killing the most?" Guo Rong was also very surprised to see Yu Yao, it was her first time seeing Yu Yao here, normally she wouldn't even let her come.

  "Rong Auntie, it's really lively here." Yu Yao greeted her with a smile, but only managed to force out a bitter laugh.

  "What's wrong, Yao Yao? Come into Aunt Rong's room and sit for a while." Guo Rong saw that her face looked a bit off-color and she was shivering with cold, so she wanted to pull her into the office to warm up.

  "Mm." He nodded and followed Guo Rong in, taking the hot water she had poured for him and holding it in his hands.

  "Yao Yao, what's going on? If you trust Aunt Rong, then tell me." He also took out a thick coat and put it over her shoulders.

  "Aunt Rong, ......", just as she was about to say something, she couldn't control herself anymore and burst into tears in Guo Rong's arms.

  "Cry, cry, it's all right after crying." Guo Rong hugged her and patted her lightly, not saying much, just waiting for her to slowly vent.

  After crying for a while, Yu Yao finally calmed down a bit, "Aunt Rong, you think I'm useless, don't you?"

  "How could that be? Who doesn't know that our Yaoyao is the best, studying well, playing the piano well, and being sensible and obedient. Such an excellent girl, if anyone dares to say that Yaoyao is useless, then they must have a problem with their eyes or brain." Guo Rong smiled as she handed her a handkerchief to wipe her face.

  "It's not like what you said!" Guo Rong burst into laughter, her face slightly red with embarrassment.

  "It's true, I'm telling you the truth." Guo Rong saw her smile and finally felt relieved.

  "But... it's not now, I'm not the best now." Yu Yao lowered her head.

  "Yao Yao, I know you always strive to be the first in everything, but don't make this a burden. There are many meaningful things in life, and if you only focus on being number one, you'll miss out on many wonderful experiences. So, don't take ranking too seriously." Guo Rong thought she was just upset about losing the exam, so he smiled and comforted her.

  "It's different, Aunt Rong. If someone who is more hardworking and diligent than me surpasses me, I will admit defeat willingly. But this time...". Yu Yao lowered her head in despair.

  "If you're only upset because she surpassed you without your hard work, then that's even more unacceptable. This world is full of unfair things, and this is just a small one." Guo Rong found it even more amusing, thinking that after all, he was just a child, getting so worked up over such a trivial matter.

  "But I'm not reconciled, how much have I paid for these things? Every day, whether it's going to class or going home, I don't dare to slack off even a bit, and I always get first place. I've been practicing piano since I was five years old, and after so many years, I haven't stopped, I've already taken the ninth level exam, but why can't I surpass her in anything? She clearly doesn't listen to anything in class, I've even seen her reading other books during class, and during the entrance exams, she couldn't even see her own name, but after just one semester, she's surpassed me. And having only learned piano for a few months, she can play far worse than me, but she can still write songs and sing them herself at the New Year's Eve party. It seems like there's nothing in this world that she can't do." Yu Yao suddenly released all her pent-up frustration.

  She paused for a moment, then couldn't help but continue, "And now Zou Ze only has eyes for her. She gets caught spacing out in class by the teacher and is called to the front of the room to do problems, she does them perfectly, Zou Ze doesn't think it's right that she's not paying attention in class yet he praises her as being great. She wants to learn how to play the violin, Zou Ze runs to Liu Shu's place and begs for a month to get the best violin to give to her. She wants to participate in the evening party, Zou Ze doesn't care that exams are coming up soon, puts aside his studies, accompanies her to revise the musical score, practices with her. She does everything so effortlessly, yet does everything so well. I work hard at everything, yet can't compare to her, why do they only look at results?!"

  Yu Yao said things that she had never told even her best friends, and her expression gradually became somewhat distorted. "I now envy her, I'm jealous of her, and I even hate her a little. If it weren't for her, I would still be the best."

  "Yu Yao, you're not actually mad at her because she's better than you in grades or because she can sing and play the guitar by herself. It's because of Zou Ze!" Guo Rong said directly, having watched them grow up, she could guess some of Yu Yao's thoughts, but she didn't want Yu Yao to keep thinking like this, it wasn't good for anyone.

  "Rong Auntie, I..." Yu Yao was struck in the heart and lowered her head.

  "Yao Yao, jealousy can sometimes drive people to improve, but at other times it can destroy someone. You don't want her to be better than you, you want to be the best, that's not wrong. But she hasn't done anything wrong even though she didn't work as hard as you." Guo Rong thought that since he knew this, he should do something about it.

  "But before her, I was always the best, Zou Ze... although he wasn't very enthusiastic about me either, but he wouldn't treat me like a stranger now." Yu Yao raised her head with an unwilling expression.

  "Yu Yao, you are a descendant of a military family. Military people do things openly and honestly. If you're not willing to give up, then go compete with her openly." Guo Rong saw that this approach wasn't working, so she changed tactics.

  "Compared to her, am I... okay?" Yu Yao seemed to have lost confidence in herself.

  "It's not that it can't be done, our Yaoyao is the best, and not everyone looks at results, there will be people who see your efforts. Besides, she's not omnipotent, it's impossible for everything to be so good, there must be something you're better at than her." Guo Rong saw that she had relaxed a bit, smiled and thought, maybe bad things can also become good things.

  Yu Yao listened, fell silent for a moment, "Rong Aunt, maybe you're right, I should go and compete with her openly, I won't be worse than her." The voice was gentle, but carried some determination.

  "That's right, this is what we soldiers should do." Guo Rong finally smiled. "Are you still cold? Let me pour you another cup of hot water!"

  "No need, I'll just stay for a while and then leave." Yu Yao put down her cup, feeling warmer herself, and thought of leaving.

  "Don't rush to leave, you've never been here before, I'll take you on a good tour since you're finally here." Guo Rong didn't plan to let her leave like this, at least not until she saw her happy.

  "Mm!" Yu Yao lightly laughed and nodded her head.

  Yu Yao had never been very interested in these things, so she had never come here before. When Guo Rong brought her to see the female soldiers training or sparring, it seemed that they now had a different kind of charm. As she watched slowly, she couldn't help but reveal an interested smile.

  "How's that? Not bad, huh?" Guo Rong saw her start paying attention and smiled too.

  "Hmm, I never thought girls could be like this, they're amazing." Yu Yao's eyes showed a strange sparkle. Her parents' education for her since she was young was that girls should be gentle, elegant and have a good temperament, so they had her learn piano to cultivate her into an elegant girl. She had always thought so too, but never imagined that girls could also have this side.

  "Officer Guo, where's An'an? It's been so many days since we last saw her?" At this time, a female soldier who had just come down from the stage walked over to Guo Rong.

  "She had just returned to her master a few days ago, and these days she was pestering him to go hunting!" Guo Rong mentioned Ji Xin'an and also became happy, it's been several days since they last saw each other, and they really miss her.

  "This girl has gone mad." The man also sighed and left.

  "Rong Yi, who is An An?" Yu Yao instinctively thought of Ji Xin'an, but then she thought it was unlikely.

  "A little girl about your age, who is determined to become a soldier, comes here every day to follow my training." Guo Rong said casually.

  "You want to be a soldier at such a young age?" Yu Yao was shocked upon hearing this.

  "Yes, at that time I also thought she was only two and a half days fresh, but unexpectedly she persisted for so long." Guo Rong now appreciates her more and more.

  "What's her name? Maybe she's even our classmate!" Yu Yao also became interested.

  "Ji Xin'an."

  Yu Yao was stunned for a moment, and then fell into silence.