Chapter 48: Xin Yu Yuan's Confession

  This chapter has over 3,200 words of actual content. Thanks to all the brothers and sisters for their support of You Wu Lao Po. With everyone's enthusiasm, how can I, a panda, not be a bit more generous? It's just that the monthly tickets aren't very powerful, and this panda is really helpless. For a panda who values quality and cannot 'sacrifice quality for speed', it means being unable to use explosive updates like other authors to get a large number of monthly tickets. Losing this killer move, the panda is at a disadvantage in the monthly ticket competition, struggling to make progress. I, the panda, really want to explode! I really want to update 10-8 chapters of garbage drafts every day to exchange for monthly tickets!

  But Panda really can't do it, although when communicating with many authors, Panda always says 'I emphasize quality, speed is not going up', but always being ridiculed by other authors, saying that it's fast food literature, others all emphasize speed, the quality is almost the same, you have to make yourself revise and revise, delaying updates, and deserve to be low on monthly tickets.

  Waaah, the panda is really hurt! It's also true that I couldn't keep up with fellow authors who burst forth to exchange votes for monthly tickets. There's no way around it! The monthly ticket chart is a free advertisement, and its significance and effect on a book are huge. Panda wants to make "Youwu Lao Po" (a novel) a masterpiece, so I must fight for this monthly ticket.

  Brothers and sisters, if you still have a bit of conscience about the quality that Panda emphasizes, please give Panda a few more monthly votes! Panda is begging you.

  My name is Xin Yu Yuan, 29 years old, but this is nominal age, in terms of zodiac age, I was born on March 2nd, 1984, and just turned 28 this year. For a woman, it's the most beautiful stage of life, with a charming appearance, a slender figure, and a mature temperament.

  On the internet, it seems like many people call women like me "yue jie", but I already have a family, with an adorable daughter and a humorous and romantic husband... although he has passed away.

  So my title should change from "Goddess" to "Someone's Wife", it seems like there are many men online who claim to be "Someone's Wife Controllers", although the internet is a virtual world where people can speak freely and show their perverted side, but liking married women is really perverted! And very immoral, however... my husband passed away, I became a widow, and can only be considered a pseudo-Someone's Wife.

  Perhaps those people can be called widow control, a widow's door is full of right and wrong. In the past year, I have had a deeper understanding that for a widow, losing her husband's nourishment for a long time will become increasingly empty and lonely as time goes by, even ignoring worldly morals and doing many out-of-bounds things.

  But I'm not that kind of woman.

  I will feel empty and lonely, but I won't degrade myself because of the torment of desire. If a man I truly like doesn't appear in the future, I won't indulge myself.

  I said, I have a lovely daughter named Yimeng, she is an extremely lovely girl, 7 years old this year, just entered primary school. By the way, it seems that online, such lovely little girls like Yimeng are called "Moe Loli", haha, a very cute and joyful term. But those perverted loli fans, evil otaku, don't even think about having any evil thoughts towards my daughter, or I'll kill you!

  Don't look at me being gentle and soft all the time, but if anyone dares to harm my daughter, I will really kill them, really.

  Since my husband passed away, my daughter is everything to me, for her I am willing to pay the price of life.

  It's also for my daughter, although many people, even her grandparents, have reintroduced me to potential partners, I've never agreed. As a single mother and orphan, forming a new family with a stranger would lead to misunderstandings and create many problems that could affect my daughter's healthy growth.

  I have made up my mind to raise my daughter all by myself.

  In the darkness, I have been trying to become stronger, even stronger, after my husband's passing.

  But I'm just a woman, a woman who yearns to be loved and cared for. Living alone is really tough. In the still of the night, that kind of loneliness and pain drives me crazy countless times, with tears soaking my pillow.

  At this time, a little boy appeared.

  His name is Shangguan Nengren, an ordinary high school student who was thin and weak. When my husband was alive, we opened a cake shop together, and Shangguan Nengren was just an ordinary customer from the neighborhood.

  When her husband was alive, he would occasionally come to the store to buy some pastries, and gradually got to know her, saying more and more words. Her husband seemed to like her very much. I once asked him why, his answer surprised me and also unexpected.

  "He is like me in high school."

  My husband said so, I totally don't understand.

  Sangguan Nengren looks very ordinary in all aspects, there is nothing outstanding about him. If anything, he's probably just very kind-hearted and has a hidden, helpful nature.

  But he also has obvious shortcomings, being very casual and natural, drifting with the tide, as if he doesn't have any pursuits or concerns about many things.

  I don't get it, was her husband always like this since high school?

  Forgive me for not understanding my husband's past, because we met, knew and loved each other in college, truly loving people don't care about their lover's past, I didn't either, so I didn't try to understand.

  Since then, I have gradually become concerned about Shangguan Neng, and I really want to know what kind of state my former husband is in.

  Slowly, I came to understand that my husband was a man with a cold exterior and a fiery interior. Hmm, how can I put it? There's an online term that accurately describes this state, but it doesn't sound very good - repressed!

  This kind of person, if you don't enter his inner world, you will never feel his passion. Once you really get in, you will gain unexpected rewards. My husband is like this. He usually has some reserve towards others, looking elegant and gentlemanly, but when the door is closed and it's just the two of us, his fervor can melt me.

  Hehe, I'm so shy about it, I won't tell anyone.

  Perhaps it was love at first sight, but I gradually fell in love with Shangguan Nengren. Slowly, I started calling him Xiao Nengren, and as we became more familiar, he indeed gradually transformed from being indifferent to being passionate. When talking to my husband and me, he gradually lost his reserve, speaking freely and easily getting excited, revealing all aspects of himself - both good and bad - before us.

  Even our little sprout is very fond of him and loves playing with him; he has become a friend to our whole family.

  It was a little boy who, after my husband's sudden death on the street, would often come to my cake shop despite his heavy schoolwork, grab every opportunity to chat with me, keep me company, play with Yimeng, pretend to be a big horse for Yimeng to ride, and I remember one time, Yimeng peed on his neck, he was so stunned that it made me laugh tears.

  I said, a widow is an empty and lonely woman who yearns to be loved and cared for. Although I don't think Xiaoneng can give me love, he gave me at least the most basic care and protection. Gradually, I treated him like my own younger brother, and he seemed to rely on me too. Although I don't know the reason, I can probably guess it.

  The common problem of an only child!

  The relationship between us has undergone a qualitative change recently.

  That day, the playboy who had once hurt my university sister proposed to me. I knew his nature and how could I agree? No one understood my thoughts, but Xiao Neng Ren threw away all his face and stood at the door, scolding the street, just like a second-rate child in the village, very vulgar.

  But crudeness warms me, crudeness makes my eyes shine with tears. I know he does all this for the sake of my reputation.

  Honor? Ha! The honor of a widow.

  This was just the beginning, that night two thugs broke in, I was shocked and scared, but I was just a widow, a weak woman, how could I resist the invasion of two strong men?

  When I was desperate, Xiaonengren blocked in front of me, and an astonishing energy burst out from his thin body.

  He knocked down the thug and protected me.

  In that instant, I seemed to have found a haven that could protect me from harm for the rest of my life. The painful, uneasy and wandering heart of the past year had a new urge to jump again.

  Because I was afraid, he stayed overnight with me that night, he could protect me and let me have a good sleep.

  The next morning, I went to wake him up and unexpectedly found out that the little rascal... Hehe, was particularly capable! But I wouldn't dare tell anyone, it's too embarrassing.

  From that day on, I was nicer to him, and even had a bit of the feeling from when I was in college... which is where I met my husband.

  Am I somewhat shameless? My deeply loved husband has only been gone for a year.

  But from that day on, I realized myself, I'm not special, I'm just an ordinary woman, with seven emotions and six desires, joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness, only my nerves are a bit thick, over time, I will slowly forget some things, including... love.

  I love my husband deeply, but he has already left me far away. Should I be forever lonely and steadfast, or should I put down the past when I meet someone who moves my heart?

  During that time, I read a lot of books and magazines about emotional aspects, and gradually, I successfully consoled myself.

  After all, I'm just a little woman, if someday in the future there really is some kind of opportunity, I will definitely...

  If the opportunity never arises, I will forever guard my daughter and face the future alone.

  Life is really like a play, an illusion, and the opportunity has finally arrived.

  That day, the little capable person who I considered as my younger brother called me. I was very happy because we hadn't seen each other for a month and I really missed him.

  He said he wanted to eat the meal I made, and without any hesitation, I handed over the key of the cake shop to Zhang Xiuxiu, a kind-hearted and simple-minded girl from the countryside who was an apprentice in my shop. I felt at ease after handing over the key to her.

  That day, Mo and I were together, but her grandmother missed her granddaughter and came to pick up her granddaughter to play over there, which was also part of the catalyst that appeared.

  Returned home with joy, cooked a delicious meal, but my brother was in agony. I could feel it, being a weak woman, unable to help him in other ways. The only thing I could offer was gentle comfort. Under my comfort, he told me the reason.

  My younger brother has broken up with his girlfriend.

  I was shocked and angry when I heard this news.

  Why can't those shallow girls see the excellence of their younger brother?

  In addition to being angry, I also let out a small sigh of relief. At that time, I recognized myself - I'm a slightly bad woman.

  Later on, the emotional turmoil that had been brewing between my brother and me erupted uncontrollably, and I didn't want to control it, nor did I want to resist it.

  Everything has happened.

  Although uneasy, although bewildered, but... I don't regret it!

  But an uneasy mood enveloped me, leading to the decision to go to a Taoist temple to burn incense. I don't believe in gods or Buddhism; I just sought a comforting self-deception.

  Unexpectedly, my younger brother was favored by the master of the Taoist temple and was invited to drink wine. What's more unexpected is that my younger brother, who can usually keep me company for a few cups, fell asleep for a whole day and night after just one bowl of wine.

  At that time I was very worried, and stayed by his bedside day and night without undressing, not wanting to leave him for a moment.

  The next day, his younger brother woke up and was frightened by a monkey raised in the Taoist temple.

  This monkey is very clever, like a three or five year old naughty child, extremely mischievous. When I first saw it, I was also startled, but it's a good monkey, my brother doesn't know that.

  At that time, the jumping brother was so much fun! He took the monkey as Sun Wukong, and the sentence "Where is the demon monkey going" almost made me laugh out loud, but I also felt relieved.

  Back home, I wanted to invite my brother's parents to gather together. Although I had a relationship with my brother, I didn't want to use this relationship to bind him, but I really wanted to get along well with his family.

  But a wounded body, guarding day and night, makes me tired and sleepy.

  My younger brother took over the work I needed to do and let me sleep peacefully.

  I'm a bit surprised, a bit unexpected, and more of a hint of anticipation... what will the taste of my brother's cooking be like?

  My brother carried me into the bedroom, feeling so at ease. He stood by my bed just to protect me and help me sleep peacefully. I was so touched that I almost cried. It's been over a year since I've felt this happy.

  With my brother's protection, I fell asleep peacefully.

  In the evening, I woke up.

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