Chapter Eleven

  The leaves on the tree are falling fewer and fewer, I'm slowly getting back to normal, at least on the surface. Sometimes I'll also chat with the maid for a couple of sentences, only eating less is still not much. It's not that I haven't thought about escaping from the mansion. But if I were just a maid, maybe I would have escaped and everyone would have looked around and that would be it. But I am the daughter of the second-class official of the Qing Dynasty who guards the northwest, the wife of the eighth Beile, and also a candidate for the imperial concubine. The whole world here is the Aixinjueluo family's, where can I go? Besides, I still have my sister, if I really leave, she may not be able to bear it.

  One day, I was in the house practicing calligraphy when Cui Hui said that the 14th brother had arrived. I put down my brush and walked out of the house to see him standing in the courtyard. I went forward to pay my respects, "Why don't you come into the house?" He said: "Let's go for a walk in the garden!" I nodded. Cui Hui brought me a water-green embroidered silk cloak with floral patterns to wear and reminded me not to stand in the wind, I agreed and followed the 14th brother out of the courtyard.

  The two of us walked in silence. After a while, I forced a smile and said, "What's wrong with you? Not a word for half the day, it's suffocating!" Fourteen chuckled twice and said, "I had a lot to say before we left, but now I don't know what to say." I stopped in my tracks, turned my head to look at him and said, "I'm fine now!" He stopped alongside me, let out a sigh and said, "You may be fine, but Big Brother Ten is still in trouble!" I didn't respond, just stared at him with my eyes.

  He sighed again and said, "Tenth brother hasn't attended court since the Mid-Autumn Festival banquet. The emperor asked a few times, and Eighth brother always replied that he was unwell. If this continues, the emperor will send an imperial physician to examine him." I looked down at my shoes and asked, "What do you want me to do?" He replied, "Go see him and persuade him." I remained silent for a moment, then nodded in agreement, "When?" He said, "Tomorrow after court, I'll come pick you up to go into the palace to see him." I said, "Okay!"

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  I sat in the carriage with the Fourteenth, both of us silent all the way. When we left, my sister didn't ask anything, and I suppose Eighth Brother had already sent someone to inform her. When we arrived at the palace gate, we got out of the carriage and the attendants helped us change into sedan chairs. Half a day later, the sedan chair finally stopped.

  Fourteen led me into a courtyard, pointed to the door in front of him and said: "I won't go in anymore!" I nodded, just about to take a step forward, he added: "After a while, the eunuchs I sent away will come back, hurry up!" I hummed a sound, stepped forward and lifted the curtain to enter.

  As soon as I entered, it was a side hall. There was a strong smell of wine in the house, but no one was there. I looked at the arched door on the side, with pearl curtains hanging down, and parted the curtains to enter. The pearl curtains behind me collided with each other, making a crisp and pleasant sound. The tenth brother, lying on his side on the couch, did not open his eyes and shouted: "I told you not to disturb me, get out!" I took two steps forward, stood still looking at him, and thought of something good to say but didn't know where to start. He suddenly opened his eyes, with a face full of anger. Seeing it was me, his angry face turned into astonishment, then gloominess, and he slowly sat up. I walked over to the chair by the table, sat down, picked up the wine jug on the table, shook it, and found there was still some wine left, then put it back down.

  The party had quieted down, and I asked: "Are you just going to get drunk like this? Can getting drunk really make you not marry Ming Yu Ge Ge?" He was silent for a moment before saying: "I'm just feeling annoyed in my heart." I asked: "What's annoying you?" He lowered his head to put on his shoes, and said in a muffled voice: "Can't you see what's annoying me?"

  This child, my heart has already calmed down from the initial panic when I entered the house, and instead became even more calm. "One trouble is that you don't like Ming Yu Ge Ge, yet you have to marry her. Two troubles are that you have a good impression of me, but can't marry me." He stood up, walked over to the table, sat down, poured himself a cup of wine and held it in his hand, staring at the cup in a daze. After a while, he asked softly: "Will you be my concubine?" I was taken aback for a moment, as this option wasn't included in any of the conversation topics I had prepared. I forgot that 'two women serving one husband' was common in ancient times.

  He lifted his head, gazing at me with fervent longing, and said loudly: "I will treat you very well. I must..." I hastily interrupted him, "I don't want to!" He clenched his teeth, nodded at me, and suddenly picked up the wine cup, draining it in one gulp. "I know! Even if I let you be my legitimate wife, you wouldn't agree. But I still held onto a thread of hope. Now..." He smiled bitterly, "it's even more impossible."

  I picked up a wine glass from the table and played with it in my hand, "Since you've already understood everything, then be a sensible person! Don't let Beile Ye and others worry anymore, and don't make the Emperor angry!" He poured another cup of wine and said after drinking: "I have already been arranged by Huang Ama, can't I even show some temper?"

  I poured myself a cup of wine, "Since the major events have been compromised, why bother with these minor ones where 'loved ones suffer and enemies rejoice'?" I said, taking a sip.

  I drank a bit too quickly and choked, covering my mouth with a handkerchief as I coughed twice. As I was wiping my mouth with the handkerchief, I heard him ask in a soft voice, "Ruoxi, have you ever liked me?" I looked up to see his eyes filled with anticipation, tension, and fear all mixed together. I lowered my head, fidgeting with the handkerchief in my hands, before responding in a low voice after a while, "I did like you." He let out a heavy sigh of relief and chuckled lightly, "Ruoxi, I'm really happy. You know? These past few days, I've been wanting to ask you in person, but I was also afraid of hearing something I didn't want to hear, so I didn't dare ask." He took another sip of wine, "Don't worry about me! I'll be fine. From now on, I'll just think about how you used to sing songs for me, make me laugh, and get sad for my sake. Just thinking about it makes me happy already."

  He paused for a moment, then said in a low voice: "From childhood to adulthood, everyone thought I was stupid, didn't study hard, and wasn't making progress. But they don't know that I've tried my best, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't be like Fourth Brother, Eighth Brother, or Fourteenth Younger Brother. They read something once and remember it, but I read it three times and still can't remember. When the Empress Dowager says something, they understand quickly, but I rack my brains and still don't know what she means. And with a quick temper, I often act rashly and cause trouble. Everyone openly or secretly mocks me, except for Eighth Brother, who always protects me and reminds me at all times."

  He fell silent for a moment, then asked in a low voice, "Ruoxi, do you think I'm stupid?" I smiled and said, "Stupid! If you weren't stupid, would you let me bully you all the time?" I paused on purpose, then continued, "But I like playing with you because you're stupid. Because I know that when you're happy, you're really happy, and when you're not happy, you're really not happy. When you say you like something, you absolutely like it, and when you say you hate something, you absolutely hate it. So when I'm with you, I can be happy and laugh loudly, or be unhappy and get angry in front of you. Do you know? I'm very happy when I'm with you, very happy." As I spoke, he kept looking at me, then suddenly turned his head away, was silent for a moment, and said in a low voice with a thick nasal tone, "I'm also very happy."

  For a moment, both of them fell silent, sitting quietly, and heard the voice of the 14th brother outside: "It's time to go back!" I stood up, picked up the wine pot and poured two cups of wine, took one myself and handed one to the 10th brother. I raised my cup to him, then drank it all in one gulp, turning the cup upside down on the table. He watched me finish drinking, also finishing his own drink. I smiled slightly, bowed my head and said: "Ruo Xi bids farewell!" Then got up, lifted the curtain and went out the door.

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  This is the first snow of this winter. The sky was normal on the first day, but when I woke up on the second day, it had turned into a world made of jade and jewels.

  Since graduating from university and working in Shenzhen, it's been over three years since I've seen snow. Today, out of the blue, I saw this crystal-like jade-colored scene, and my heart felt an indescribable thrill and excitement. I eagerly wanted to go for a walk in the snow. Qiao Hui tried to persuade me not to go, but couldn't stop me. She quickly found me a snow cloak and hat, and I chose a bright red down-filled white fox fur cloak, put on the matching hat, and hastily set off into the snow. Qiao Hui kept calling out from behind: "Come back soon!"

  The snow is still falling gently, not very heavily, but the sky and earth are a blur. Ten steps away, it's already hard to see clearly. I don't have anywhere in particular I want to go, so I'm just walking freely. There's no one around, and I'm walking with one foot deep and one foot shallow, feeling quite a bit of the loneliness of "I am alone between heaven and earth".

  As I walked alone, I suddenly heard the sound of footsteps in the snow, and someone caught up with me from behind, walking shoulder to shoulder with me. I turned my head to take a look, and it was Eighth Brother, wearing a black sable cloak, wearing a wide-brimmed ink bamboo hat, which made his face even more refined and elegant. I knew I should greet him, but for some reason, I just didn't want to pay attention to him. So I turned my head back and continued walking alone. He didn't say anything either, just following me in the snowy ground.

  The snow is still falling, and the whole world is quiet, leaving only the sound of our footsteps in the snow. I feel like it's just me and him between this vast white sky and earth. Although neither of us speaks, the feeling of loneliness from walking alone earlier gradually disappears. I just feel very calm and peaceful in my heart, and I can keep walking like this forever.

  Suddenly, my foot stepped on a stone under the snow and I almost fell down. My heart was lamenting my bad luck. A hand had already firmly grasped me. After I stood still, without a word, I took a step forward. He also didn't speak, but held my hand tightly and didn't let go. I struggled several times, seeing that I couldn't break free, so I just went along with him.

  He took my hand and walked for a while. I didn't pay attention to the surroundings, just followed him, and had long lost direction. Besides, it was all snow everywhere, so I had no idea where we were now. As we walked, Li Fu, the personal eunuch of Eighth Prince, came up to us. When I saw him, he was already very close. I panicked and tried to pull my hand back, but he held it even tighter. All I heard was his order: "Let everyone in the study retreat!" Li Fu nodded and quickly ran away. I tried to pull my hand back a few more times, but he still held it tightly. He led me on, and after a while, I realized we were almost at the study.

  Only Li Fu was standing in front of the courtyard gate, watching us approach, and hurriedly bowed his head. The Eighth Prince ignored him and led me straight into the study room.

  After stopping, he let go of my hand and helped me take off the snow hat. He then wanted to reach out and help me untie my cloak. I was startled and quickly jumped back two steps, saying: "I can do it myself!" He smiled slightly, ignored me, and took care of untying his own cloak and hat, hanging them up properly. The room was warm with a fire burning inside. After hanging up the cloak, not knowing what to do, I could only stand there.

  He poured a cup of hot tea and handed it to me, I subconsciously took it and held it in my hand, warming my hands. He walked over to the desk, sat down, picked up a stack of letters and started reading them. I was holding the tea, standing still. After a while, he looked up and smiled, saying: "Do you like standing?" I was startled, quickly found a chair farthest from him and sat down. He smiled, shook his head slightly and ignored me, continuing to look at the letters, occasionally picking up his pen to write something.

  We just sat there, occasionally Li Fu quietly came in, changed the tea twice and added some charcoal. The movements were quick and efficient, without a sound, and he quickly retreated.

  At first, I didn't dare to look at him and just stared at the ground in front of me. Later, I found that he was very focused on reading the letter, his head never lifted. Only then did I slowly gain courage and start to secretly observe him. He wore a light blue robe, with a radiant complexion, clear eyebrows and eyes, and a hint of a smile on his lips. When reading the letter, he would occasionally furrow his brow, but soon relax again. His posture was elegant when writing. From my angle, I couldn't help but think that he was: refined as a bamboo in the clear wind, with a bearing like a bright pearl.

  How could Yongzheng possibly, how could he bear to give him the title of "E'ke"? Perhaps this is the greatest expression of Yongzheng's hatred, far more intense and decisive than killing him!

  I looked at him, with a thousand emotions and countless sighs in my heart. I didn't know how long I had been sitting there, but my stomach started to feel hungry. I glanced around and saw two plates of pastries on his desk. After hesitating for a while, I decided to go over and take one. So I got up and walked over, casually picking up a pastry and starting to eat it. He looked up at me, smiled with pursed lips, and said: "If you don't go back, your sister will definitely get anxious." His mouth still had a hint of a smile, he lowered his head for a moment, then raised it again, rubbing his temples while calling out "Li Fu!"

  Li Fu quickly came in, bowed down to listen to orders. "See the second young lady off!" Li Fu hurriedly got up to help me take my cloak and hat, and then helped me put it on. After finishing packing, the two of us went out together.

  The snow was still falling, and there were no people anywhere. Li Fu led the way in front of me. I took a closer look, and saw that he had chosen quiet little paths, which were normally deserted, and now didn't even have any birds. After many twists and turns, we arrived at a small crossroads, where he bowed and said: "Following this path, you will soon see Master Lan's house. I still need to go back and listen for orders, so I won't escort the young lady anymore." I nodded and said: "You can go!" He bowed again and retreated.