Chapter Twelve

  These days, I often find myself staring at my left hand and getting lost in thought. It's as if I understand what the eighth brother means, yet I don't understand it at all. When I was in high school, I had a passionate romance, but back then, my feelings were simple and easy to understand. Now, I have no idea what he is thinking about in his heart.

  Is it affection or is it not? Is it just for fun or is it serious? Is it a sudden whim or was it planned long ago? I don't know! To these palace men who are obsessed with intrigue, beautiful women like me are nothing more than a pleasant view to enjoy when they're in the mood, and a plaything to amuse themselves when they're bored. Even someone as straightforward and passionate as Ten A Ge feels that he can have both me and Ming Yu Ge Ge at the same time. I've really given up having any expectations of them.

  I've had a habit since I started learning geometric proof questions. When I couldn't figure out a problem for the time being, I would put it aside. After a while, I might suddenly understand it naturally. So this time when I found myself unable to understand, I simply gave up on this super difficult question. Time will tell me the answer.

  The thing that is now before my eyes is that in three days it will be the tenth brother's big wedding day. Since I saw him at the palace that day, I haven't seen him again for over a month. All I heard was that Kangxi gave him a mansion. I've been thinking about his wedding banquet, whether to go or not? Thinking in my heart, one more thing is no better than one less thing, it's better not to go.

  Sister listened to me saying I wasn't going, and lightly replied "Then don't go!" But as soon as she turned around, Qiao Hui pulled me and said: "Master, except for New Year's and other necessary days when we have to go to pay respects to Di Fu Jun, normally he never goes to pay respects. The other side is already very dissatisfied. If Miss doesn't go to congratulate them, I'm afraid they will blame Master again, saying that we don't know etiquette." I had no choice but to find Sister again and say I was going, Sister still lightly replied "okay", but immediately added a sentence: "If you go, absolutely do not cause trouble!" I could only laugh and promise that I absolutely wouldn't cause any trouble.

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  It's already the wedding day. I put on a pink gold-edged jacket to make myself look more festive and cover up my inner wounds. Eighth Beile had gone ahead, and slightly later, my sister and I took a soft sedan together. The wedding banquet was held in the new mansion given by Tenth Brother. When we arrived, the front door was already filled with luxurious cars and precious horses.

  This mansion is indeed incomparable to the Eighth Beile Mansion, but in my eyes as a modern city dweller, it's already magnificent. The entire way was decorated with lanterns and streamers, the lights reflecting off each other, incense smoke swirling around, and the sound of drums and music filling the air, truly an endless display of wealth and grandeur, a perfect embodiment of auspiciousness and prosperity.

  Laughter, singing voices, and human voices filled the entire hall with a joyful ocean. Everyone was laughing except my sister and me, who were sitting silently, looking very out of place in this environment. Although I lowered my eyes, I knew that since I entered the hall, everyone had been secretly glancing at me as if on purpose. Sitting there, I felt extremely uncomfortable and wanted to get up and leave immediately. But I knew that if I left now, the joke would only get bigger. I could only wait until the bride walked in.

  I let out a sigh, telling myself to make the best of it. I forced a smile onto my face and slowly looked around, meeting various curious gazes. To my amusement, they quickly avoided eye contact as soon as our eyes met. I sneered inwardly, which only made me laugh more charmingly. Suddenly, my eyes locked with those of the Fourth Prince, whose gaze was cold, icy, and seemingly empty. Yet, I felt like my smile was about to falter, as if my inner turmoil was exposed under his piercing stare. I took a subtle breath, forcing myself to continue smiling, even winking at him defiantly before turning to face another curious onlooker.

  A young servant rushed in, shouting: "The bride is about to arrive at the gate! It's time to prepare to receive her sedan chair!" Only then did everyone realize that they had never seen the groom. I scanned the hall and found that Eighth Brother was not there either. My sister and I exchanged a nervous glance. I quickly slipped over to Fourteenth Brother and asked in a low voice, "What's going on?" Fourteenth looked equally perplexed, "Yesterday, I saw Tenth Brother and everything seemed normal!" I started to feel uneasy, thinking, Oh no! Old Ten, don't cause trouble at this critical moment. Fourteenth noticed my pale face and hastily said, "Don't worry, Eighth Brother is here, nothing big will happen." All I could do was nod.

  The noise in the hall grew louder and my heart tightened. Just then, I heard people at the door calling out: "Tenth Brother, Tenth Brother!" I looked up to see Tenth Brother standing at the door with Eighth Brother, wearing a wedding gown. Then, Tenth Brother was hastily led away by the eunuchs towards the gate of the mansion. Eighth Brother smiled and greeted everyone as he entered. When he went to pay his respects to the Crown Prince, the Crown Prince asked: "What's going on?" Eighth Brother replied with a smile: "Tenth Brother is dissatisfied with the wedding gown and is being stubborn about not coming out." Everyone burst into laughter upon hearing this! Someone immediately shouted: "Tenth Brother is afraid of being disliked by his new bride and doesn't dare to go to the bridal chamber!" The crowd laughed even harder. Eighth Brother stood beside the Crown Prince, smiling slightly as he looked around at the people, exchanging glances with those he met. As his gaze was about to sweep over me, I quickly lowered my head. This was the first time I had seen him since that snowy day. Lowering my head, I caught a glimpse of Fourth Brother still looking expressionless and indifferent, gazing out into the distance amidst the laughter of the crowd.

  After a while, the sound of drums and music filled the air, and everyone rushed to the entrance of the hall. I hid behind the crowd and vaguely saw the tenth brother holding a red ribbon, leading in the bride with a veil on her head, and then amidst the laughter of the crowd, the two were sent into the bridal chamber.

  I let out a deep sigh in my heart. Thinking that after a while, the tenth brother would still come out to give me a toast. I really couldn't think of how he would give me this toast. I pointed to the door for my sister, and she nodded slightly. Looking around again, no one noticed, and I quietly slipped out of the wedding hall.

  December in Beijing, the sky is very cold. But I feel like I need this kind of cold, only then can I alleviate the pressure in my heart. I wrap my hands around me, shrink my neck, hunch my back, and shiver as I walk to a quiet place. As I'm walking, I hear a voice in front of me say: "If you're so afraid of the cold, why are you wandering around here?" I look up and see that it's Thirteen Brother. He's leaning on the railing with a mocking expression on his face. I'm startled and subconsciously blurt out: "Why aren't you drinking in the hall?" He teases me saying: "And why are you here?" I have nothing to say, so I just stand there silently. Suddenly, I realize that I haven't greeted him yet. I quickly bow down and say: "Greetings, Thirteen Brother!" He coldly laughs twice and says: "The people waiting for your greetings are in the hall!" Because he didn't tell me to get up, I can only stay bowed. After a while, I finally hear him say: "Get up!" I slowly stand up and quietly wait for him to leave.

  For a long time, he didn't move, and finally said inexplicably: "Today you and I are both heartbroken people! Why don't we be each other's companion?" I stared at him in surprise. He jumped down from the railing, walked over with big strides, grabbed my hand and left.

  His strides were big and urgent, I couldn't get out of his hand, could only run alongside him while scolding: "Let go!" He led me out of the mansion from a side door. The little servant guarding the gate was given a cold look by him, didn't dare say anything. Only heard him whistle softly, then the sound of horseshoes 'got, got'. A shiny black tall and powerful horse trotted to a stop in front of us.

  I had barely let out a cry of "Ah!" when I found myself already sitting on the horse's back, and he quickly mounted behind me, his arms around my waist holding the reins. With a shout of "Giddyup!", the horse took off at a gallop. I had never ridden such a fast horse before, it felt like I was floating on clouds, and the jolting was intense. My heart was extremely frightened, all I could do was desperately lean back, leaning against his chest. The wind rushing towards me cut across my face like a knife, stinging painfully, so I had to turn my head, pressing my face into his shoulder.

  A sudden chill, I feel like my whole body is frozen stiff. In my heart, I wonder what this tyrant wants to do? Does he want me to freeze to death? Or does he have a liking for Ming Yu Ge Ge? Otherwise, why would it be 'two wounded hearts'?

  The horse slowed down and finally stopped. He got off the horse first, then helped me down. Standing on the ground, I felt even colder, hugging my arms, gritting my teeth, and shivering all over! He took a wine pouch from the saddle, opened it, and held my head with one hand while putting the mouth of the pouch to my lips, saying: "Take a sip!" I shivered and drank a sip, feeling a spicy warmth flow down my stomach. He said again: "Have another sip!" I drank another sip with his help. Slowly, the spiciness spread throughout my body, and I finally felt some sensation. But I still couldn't stop shivering.

  He ignored me and turned to walk into the forest. I wanted to call out to stop him, but found myself too cold to speak. The sky was pitch black, I stood there alone with only a horse by my side. Shivering with fear, I made a vow in my heart that from now on, I would never provoke Ming Yu again. I couldn't defeat this tyrant.

  After a while, he came back with a big pile of dry firewood. One person fiddled around for a bit, and a fire started up. As soon as I saw the fire, I immediately went over to sit by it. He handed me a wineskin, and I didn't decline, taking a swig before handing it back to him. The two of us just sat there by the fire, warming ourselves by the flames while drinking wine one mouthful at a time.

  I think my sister will definitely worry, but looking at the cold face of this tyrant in the light of the fire, I really don't have the courage to say anything. I can only hope that he will spare me because Mingyu married the tenth brother as Kangxi's idea and has nothing to do with me, and not come up with other tricks. Otherwise, I'm afraid I won't see Yongzheng ascend to the throne before I die at the hands of this tyrant.

  Two of us, one mouthful each, slowly finished a bag of wine. He got up and took another bag from the horse. Then we continued. As I drank, memories of past events flooded my mind, thinking about getting drunk with friends in Lan Kwai Fong, Hong Kong, thinking about secretly drinking champagne at home when I was young... Then I would smile foolishly for a while, then stare blankly into the fire. What happened next? I don't even know what I did afterwards. Anyway, when the sky was still dark, he shook me awake, and I looked at him dazedly, finding myself lying on his lap.

  He extinguished the fire. He carried me onto the horse's back, and then another frantic gallop ensued. I still clung to his chest with all my might, and was still frozen stiff from head to toe. By the time we arrived at the Eighth Prince's residence, the sky had already lightened somewhat. He flung me down at the entrance, said "Next time let's drink together again", and rode off on horseback.

  I was dizzy, shivering and bumping my head against the door. Why not use my hands? Because my arms were frozen stiff. The big gate opened quickly, and I tumbled forward with the momentum. A young servant hastily supported me, touched my body, and exclaimed: "Good heavens! How can your body be so icy?" Then I was carried back to my sister's room, where she rushed over, and someone gave me a bath. After that, I was put into bed. During this time, it seemed like my sister asked me many questions, but seeing my silly expression, she had to give up. Finally, I fell into a deep sleep.

  The girls woke me up when it was already time for dinner. Except for a bit of a headache, everything else is fine. Thinking that I've always had good drinking habits, getting drunk never made me cry or make a scene, just tilting my head and sleeping, I couldn't help but feel secretly fortunate.

  Dressed neatly, he entered the dining hall and only then realized that Eighth Brother was also there. Having just woken up from a hangover, his head was spinning relatively slowly, and since he hadn't eaten anything from yesterday afternoon till now, he hastily greeted everyone before devouring his food without any care.

  As I ate, I started to come back to my senses. My heart was thinking about how to explain where I went last night. While secretly pondering this, I heard my sister say: "Yesterday, did the 13th brother take you somewhere?" I was taken aback and asked: "How did you know?" My sister said: "With such a big commotion, how could I not know?" I thought to myself, that's right, asking the little guard would reveal everything. But what happened last night is really hard to explain. Thinking about the absurd things that happened last night, I couldn't help but find it a bit laughable. In my youth, I fantasized about riding a horse with a handsome and skilled knight, galloping across the green grasslands, him gazing deeply at me, me gently looking back at him. Who would have thought that this beautiful dream was somewhat realized yesterday? Indeed, we rode together on one horse, but everything else was completely off. The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous and laughable it seemed. My face was full of smiles, but I had to force myself to hold them back because my sister's expression wasn't very good.

  My sister looked at my painful expression, finally exasperated and annoyed, saying: "Don't hold it in, laugh! Laugh your fill, then talk properly!" I finally released the laughter that had been pent up inside me. Just as I was laughing happily, I felt two cold gazes fixed on my face, and my heart skipped a beat. I quickly suppressed my smile, composed myself, and looked at Eighth Brother. His mouth still curved in a smile, but his eyes were mixed with a few strands of cold intent. It made me shiver, and I couldn't laugh anymore, so I hastily lowered my head to eat.

  Sister waited for me to finish laughing, "Say it! What have you done?" I simply said: "We went out drinking." Sister asked in confusion: "Why did Thirteen take you out drinking?" I thought about it and felt that I shouldn't spread Thirteen's personal secrets around, so I said: "Probably he saw that my mood wasn't good and sympathized with me!" Sister shook her head helplessly, "An unmarried girl who didn't return home for the night, aren't there already enough rumors about you?" Only then did I react, thinking, it's over, now everyone in the Imperial City will be watching me even more. Getting anxious halfway through, I suddenly felt, let them watch! Who knows what days are waiting for me ahead? Of course, I'll just live for today and get drunk for today! Let them think whatever they want about me.

  She let out a sigh and continued eating with her usual expression. My sister waited for a while, seeing me still lowering my head to eat, and then continued: "This time it's okay, fortunately Grandfather found out early, and it was at the tenth brother's house, Grandfather has handled it properly, except for a few trusted servants, no one else knows. At that time, I wanted to send someone to find you. But if I sent too many people, I'm afraid it would attract attention, and if I only sent a few, it wouldn't have any effect. Thinking that since it was the thirteenth brother who took you away, he should be responsible for bringing you back, so I only sent a trusted servant to guard the door." She paused and then continued: "However, remember this is just this once, there won't be a next time!" I thought to myself, do you think I wanted to eat wind in the cold weather? I was forced by that tyrant! Thinking about it again, I felt a bit excessive, so I quickly acknowledged: "Okay! At that time, I wasn't feeling well either, and I just wanted to vent a little."

  After dinner, Eighth Brother and my sister chatted for a couple of sentences with smiles on their faces before hurrying off. I carefully observed my sister's expression, which didn't seem unhappy, but rather relieved instead. In my heart, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of person the one she had in her heart was like? Eighth Brother, such an outstanding and elegant young man, couldn't make her forget him!