Chapter 15

  The leaves on the tree are falling less and less, I'm slowly getting back to normal, at least on the surface. Sometimes I'll also chat and laugh with the maidservants for a couple of sentences, only eating still isn't much. It's not that I haven't thought about escaping from the estate. But if I were just a maid, perhaps I would have escaped already, and everyone would probably be done looking for me by now. However, I am the general's daughter, the eighth prince's wife's younger sister, and also one of the selected candidates to be an imperial concubine. The entire world is under the control of the Aixinjueluo family, where can I run to? Moreover, I still have my older sister; if I really were to leave, she probably wouldn't be able to bear it.

  One day, I was in the house practicing calligraphy when Cuihua said that the 14th brother had arrived. I put down my brush and walked out of the house to see him standing in the courtyard. I went forward to pay my respects and asked: "Why don't you come into the house?" He said: "Let's go for a walk in the garden!" I nodded in agreement. Cuihua brought me a water-green embroidered silk cloak with floral patterns to wear, and reminded me not to stand in the wind, which I agreed to before following the 14th brother out of the courtyard.

  The two of us walked in silence. After a while, I forced a smile and said, "What's wrong with you? Not a word for half the day, it's suffocating!" Jing also dryly laughed twice and said, "Before we came, it seemed like there were plenty of things to say, but now I don't know what to say." I stopped in my tracks, turned my head to look at him and said, "I'm fine now!" He followed me and stopped, sighed and said, "You're fine, but Shige still has a lot on his mind!" I didn't speak, only stared at him with my eyes.

  He sighed again and said, "Tenth brother hasn't attended court since the Mid-Autumn Festival banquet. The emperor asked a few times, but Eighth brother always says he's not feeling well. If this continues, the emperor will send an imperial physician to examine him." I looked down at my shoes and asked, "What do you want me to do?" He replied, "Go see him and persuade him." I was silent for a moment before nodding in agreement, "When?" He said, "I'll come pick you up tomorrow after court to take you to the palace to see him." I said, "Okay!"

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  I sat in the carriage with the Fourteenth, both of us silent all the way. When we left, my sister didn't ask anything, and I suppose Eighth Brother had already sent someone to inform her. When we arrived at the palace gate, we got out of the carriage and the attendants helped us change into sedan chairs. Half a day later, the sedan chair finally stopped.

  Fourteen led me into a courtyard, pointed to the door directly opposite and said: "I won't go in anymore." I nodded, just about to take a step forward, he added: "After a while, the eunuchs I sent away will come back, hurry up!" I hummed a sound, stepped forward and lifted the curtain to enter.

  As soon as I entered, it was a side hall. There was a strong smell of wine in the house, but no one was there. I looked at the arched door on the side, with pearl curtains hanging down, and parted the curtains to enter. The pearl curtains behind me collided with each other, making a crisp and pleasant sound. The tenth brother, lying on his side on the couch, did not open his eyes and shouted: "I told you not to disturb me, get out!" I took two steps forward, stood still looking at him, and thought of something good to say but didn't know where to start. He suddenly opened his eyes, with a face full of anger. Seeing it was me, his angry face turned into astonishment, then gloominess, and he slowly sat up. I walked over to the chair by the table, sat down, picked up the wine jug on the table, shook it, and found there was still some wine left, then put it back down.

  "Are you just going to get drunk like this? Can getting drunk really make you not marry Ming Yu Ge Ge?" He was silent for a moment before saying, "I'm just feeling annoyed in my heart." I asked, "What's annoying you?" He lowered his head to put on his shoes and said in a muffled voice, "Can't you see what's annoying me?"

  This child, my heart has already calmed down from the initial panic when I entered the house, and instead became even more calm. "One trouble is that you don't like Ming Yu Ge Ge, yet you want to marry her. Two troubles are that you have a good impression of me, but can't marry me." He stood up, walked over to the table, sat down, poured himself a cup of wine and held it in his hand, staring at the cup as he fell into a daze. After a while, he asked softly: "Will you be my secondary wife?" I was taken aback for a moment, all the conversation topics I had prepared did not include this one. I forgot about the prevalence of 'two women serving one husband' in ancient times.

  He lifted his head, gazing at me with fervent longing, and said loudly: "I'll treat you well. I must..." I hastily interrupted him, "I won't!" He clenched his teeth, nodded at me, and suddenly picked up the wine cup, draining it in one gulp. "I know! Even if I let you be my legitimate wife, you wouldn't agree. But I still held onto a thread of hope. Now..." He smiled bitterly, "it's even more impossible."

  I picked up a wine cup from the table and played with it in my hand, "Since you've already understood everything, then be a sensible person! Don't let Beile Ye and others worry anymore, and don't make the Emperor angry!" He poured another cup of wine and said after drinking: "I have already been arranged by Huang Ama, can't I even show some temper?"

  I poured myself a cup of wine, "Since the major events have been compromised, why bother with these minor ones where 'loved ones suffer and enemies rejoice'?" I said, taking a sip.

  I drank a bit too quickly and choked, covering my mouth with a handkerchief as I coughed twice. As I was wiping my mouth with the handkerchief, I heard him ask in a soft voice, "Ruoxi, have you ever liked me?" I looked up to see his eyes filled with anticipation, tension, and fear all mixed together. I lowered my head, fidgeting with the handkerchief in my hands, before responding in a low voice after a moment, "I did like you." He let out a heavy sigh of relief and chuckled lightly, "Ruoxi, I'm really happy. You know? These past few days, I've been wanting to ask you in person, but I was also afraid of hearing something I didn't want to hear, so I didn't dare ask." He took another sip of wine, "Don't worry about me! I'll be fine. From now on, I'll just think about how you used to sing songs for me, make me laugh, and get upset for my sake. Just thinking about it makes me happy already."

  He paused for a moment, then said in a low voice: "From childhood to adulthood, everyone thought I was stupid and didn't study hard or make progress. But they don't know that I've tried my best, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't be like Fourth Brother, Eighth Brother, or Fourteenth Younger Brother. They read something once and remember it, but I read it three times and still can't remember. When the Empress Dowager says something, they understand quickly, but I rack my brains and still don't know what she means. And with a quick temper, I often act rashly and cause trouble, so everyone openly or secretly mocks me. Only Eighth Brother always protects me and reminds me of things."

  He fell silent for a moment, then asked in a low voice, "Ruoxi, do you think I'm stupid?" I smiled and said, "Stupid! If you weren't stupid, would you let me bully you all the time?" I paused intentionally before continuing, "But I like playing with you because you're stupid. Because I know when you're happy, you're really happy, and when you're not happy, you're really unhappy. When you say you like something, you absolutely like it, and when you say you hate something, you really hate it. So when I'm with you, I can be happy and laugh loudly, or be unhappy and show you my anger. Do you know? I'm very happy when I'm with you, very happy." As I spoke, he kept looking at me, and after I finished, he suddenly turned his head away, was silent for a moment, then said in a low voice with a thick nasal tone, "I'm also very happy."

  For a moment, both of them fell silent, sitting quietly, and heard the voice of the Fourteenth Brother outside: "It's time to go back!" I stood up, picked up the wine pot and poured two cups of wine, took one myself and handed one to the Tenth Brother. I raised my cup to him, then drank it all in one gulp, turning the cup upside down on the table. He watched me finish drinking, also finishing his own drink. I smiled slightly, bowed my head and said: "Ruo Xi bids farewell!" Then got up, lifted the curtain and went out the door.