“What do you see?” Kaede had asked.

  “Are you sure you want to know?” I asked with bug-like eyes, soulless.

  “Yes, I do.” Kaede confirmed.

  “Even if it is the worst? Even if it is not what you want to see? Even if it makes you think I am not human? Even Then?” I asked rapidly in succession.

  “Even then I want to know.” Kaede’s response was without hesitation. It caught me off guard, but there was little part of myself that cared.

  “The person I killed was my Mother.” I said with a black heart.

  Kaede’s eyes grew with shock and she asked, “Your Mother?”

  “Do you think anybody who killed their own mother could even possibly in the slightest be good?” I asked meanly.

  “Please tell me what happened.” Kaede pleaded, it must have taken some courage to do that now.

  “Why?” I asked coldly.

  “Because, I trust you.” She spoke meaningfully.

  “You trust me?” I asked, insulted, thinking it must be a lie.

  “Yes, I trust that even if you don’t think it, you are a good person. I know I was afraid of you before, but I realized how wrong that was. I didn’t know anything about you, and assumed you to be horrible. Once I figured that out I tried to find you immediately.” She explained herself desperately.

  I was surprised by her words. It came to me again, that she was a good person. Words I had thought about many times but without much behind them. She would really be better off without me.

  “It really isn’t that kind of story, I really did kill her.” I said hesitantly.

  “I still want to know.” She replied immediately, slowly overcoming her fear.

  “Okay I will tell you, just don’t tell anyone else… I don’t want people to know.” I said then started the story of the worst day of my life.

  After I was born my Mothers health turned for the worst. As a child I didn’t really know much about it. Only that my Mother couldn’t run around or stay out in the sun too long.

  The first years that I can remember are all happy memories with my family. My Father and Mother gave me love and affection.

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  We would often go out to parks for me to play. My Father would run around with me and play games, and I would lay with my Mother as she read me books.

  Everything was so fun then, innocent or at least I was.

  Then it was my fourth birthday, my parents planned a big party for me and I was even able to invite some of the friends I had.

  I worked hard to clean the house with my parents. It was two hours before the party was supposed to begin, but we had forgotten to get drinks. My Mother offered to get them because my Father still had to do some heavy lifting. It was decided before I could say anything.

  An hour later, my Father got a call from the hospital. My mother had collapsed. We rushed to the hospital without hesitation.

  When we arrived my Mother was still unconscious. At that time I was so scared, my Mother was just lying there, like she was asleep. Nobody would tell me anything no matter how many times I asked.

  After waiting for hours my Father called one of his colleagues to send me home. He left as soon as he saw me make it through the door.

  The house waiting for me was cold and dark, and the decorations no longer brought any warmth or excitement. I was much more worried about my Mother.

  The next day when I woke up my Father was already there. He tried to make breakfast but it was a mess. I asked about my Mother once again, but he refused to tell me anything.

  Three days later, we rushed to the hospital again, my Mother had woken up. As soon as I saw her I ran up and hugged her.

  She told me that she was just a little sick and needed time to recover. But in the end she was a liar.

  I visited her in the hospital everyday, but everything took much more of a toll on my Father. Our house got steadily more dirty, and he would cook meals. He would be on the phone till the middle of the night, and he still had to go to work. He soon had bags under his eyes, and looked much more gaunt.

  Two weeks later, was the worst day of my life. It looked like my Father had recovered a little bit, but he was just another liar.

  That day was a Tuesday and the sun was hidden behind dark clouds. My Father received a call from the hospital. He didn’t tell me anything about it but urged me to get into the car, without even changing into the proper clothes. He drove too fast to the hospital, even running lights when possible. Luckily we did not get pulled over.

  When we parked, he grabbed me and ran as fast as he could. We made it to the hospital room, and on the bed plugged into several machines was my Mother.

  She called out to me in a weak voice. She told me that she was going to go someplace far away. She told me that I needed to take care of my Father, and that she would always love me.

  It seemed that she had willed herself to be able to give me that message because soon after she died.

  We stayed in the hospital till morning mourning. After we left to go home, this time my Father’s colleague drove both of us home. The entire ride was spent in silence.

  We got into the cold house once again. My Father tried to cook for me again, but he failed. We then sat at our table, and ate charred eggs.

  My Father was staring at me with eye’s like a bug, and then he said.

  “It was you, you killed her. It was your birth that killed her. You should never have been born. Then she would still be here.”

  I then locked myself into this room with the mirror. The entire day I sat looking at my reflection in that mirror. I cried to no end.

  I hated myself.

  I wanted to know, was it really me, had I really killed her?

  I wanted to see my own sin.

  Then I was granted a power.

  I looked at the mirror again, and I saw my own sin.

  {I killed my Mother}