Today was a Monday, what many people consider the worst day of the week. However it was no different to me, all the days usually blur together in a sad gray swirl.

  Tomorrow was Tuesday, but not a normal Tuesday. Tomorrow parents will accompany their children to school. For me, it was just another gray part of my life.

  Many ‘parent’s days’ had been held in the past, but my Father was too ‘busy’ to attend them. Since several years ago I knew my Father ran away from me through his work.

  What should I do today? I asked myself.

  What could I do today? I changed the question.

  My goals were becoming harder to see as time passed. Make Kurt pay. Help those girls recover. Make Johnny’s life horrible?

  My goals were unusually dark for someone my age. The only hope was the small light in my heart that wanted to help.

  I dived deeper into my mind. Thoughts mulled over thousands of times. Answers confident and the opposite, a mix of everything, except pride.

  “Life is unusually free.” I muttered out loud. I was laying face down on my desk, and my words would seem out of context to anybody listening.

  Life is unusually free. There is no law, nothing that stops you. I could do anything I wanted. The law is only the system created by the majority of humans. A will shared by others thoughts.

  But to do anything one wants would be to destroy one's own morals. Once you throw yourself away in pursuit of freedom, there is nothing left.

  “Life is listless.” I muttered again. Only this time there was a response.

  “What do you mean?” Bell asked. I looked up from my slightly warm desk. Bell was leaning in close to me with a curious expression.

  “Are you not scared of me?” I asked.

  “No, I almost fell into my old ways. Rumors are so easily believed, and I wanted to know the truth myself. What you said about Johnny falsifying everything, nobody cared to listen to you.” Bell said.

  “Okay.” I said. I really didn’t care right now. I had more important things to think about, and in the future making friends was not a priority over the actions I would have to make.

  “What did you mean? You first said life is unusually free, and then life is listless.” Bell asked.

  “Why should I tell you?” I asked normally. Bell’s face said she understood, just apologizing was nothing.

  “I just wanted to know, but I will give you my support.” She replied.

  “Even before you know if Johnny is lying or not? What if I really am a killer?” I said and looked at her intimidatingly.

  “First of all, all your points were true. You explained yourself well enough. You said you didn’t kill anybody either. And, even if you did kill your mother, that was years ago. I believe you are a different person now.” Bell said.

  “So you do think I killed my mother.” I replied. I was insulted, not like I should be saying anything, but no trust in me or my words. I understand why people hate fence sitters.

  “Not at all.” Bell tried to reconcile.

  “Go away.” I said. Bell looked at me with a pleading face.

  “If I tell you what I meant about life, would you go away?” I asked.

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  “Sure.” Bell said, but I knew she was disappointed.

  “Life is free, everything that binds you is an illusion of your mind. Every force comes from either nature or a human, and can be overcome just as easily. Life is listless, you can do anything, with little to no consequence from life. What should you do? What could you do? Why should you do it? Life is all about finding yourself, otherwise you fall prey to others, or live a life filled with nothing.” I ranted unknowingly.

  It took Bell a moment to comprehend what I was saying.

  “I don’t fully understand,” Bell said with a scrunched up face.

  “You don’t need to, now go away.” I replied. Bell left disappointed and slightly unwilling.

  After the largely unpleasant conversation I tried to regain focus on my priorities but found myself lost.

  I continued the school day with no resistance to bullying. It didn’t change much of anything but I just went with the motions.

  I was leaving school when I saw somebody waiting for me.

  “Jane?” I asked.

  “What?” She asked with a knowing smile.

  “What’s up?” I asked with a friendly tone.

  “Can we talk?” Jane asked.

  “Sure. Do you have a place in mind?” I said, sensing that this was likely to be an unpleasant talk for her.

  “No.” Jane replied.

  We arrived at the coffee shop. Was this my go to spot?

  The inside of the shop was empty except for Mr. and Mrs. Drake.

  “Another one! Quite the player you are.” Mr. Drake said annoyingly.

  “You can order something Jane.” I completely ignored the annoying comment.

  “Why do you ignore me like this? I just want to hold like six grandchildren at the same time.” Mr. Drake swooned sarcastically. Jane remained silent, with a troubled look.

  “Not the time.” I said seriously. Mr. Drake seemed to understand because he held himself back from any other comments.

  I ordered something for Jane to drink because she remained silent. We sat down at a table in the corner.

  I sat patiently waiting for her to talk.

  “Are you not going to ask?” She said hesitantly.

  “Only if you want me to.” I replied.

  “But what if I am just wasting your time?” she asked.

  “I wouldn’t count spending time with you like this as a waste.” I said.

  “Player.” she replied.

  We sat in silence for a while.

  “Can I tell you something?” Jane asked.

  “Yes.” I replied simply without wavering.

  Jane continued to tell me about her experience.

  To put a horrible story shortly Jane was fooled by Kurt, and was forcibly assaulted.

  It was likely insulting to put the story in such a simple summary. The depth of her feelings would not be done any justice.

  “No questions?” Jane asked.

  “Not a question.” I replied.

  “Then what is it?” She asked shyly.

  “I am here for you.” I said simply.

  “Stupid.” Jane said coldly.

  “Why?” She immediately followed up.

  “Because I want to.” I said.

  “But it’s too late.” Jane said sadly.

  “For what?” I asked.

  “For me.” Jane replied.

  “How so?” I asked.

  “I have been assaulted, and I just lie to everybody about myself. I will always be lower.” Jane said coldly.

  “Being assaulted doesn’t change anything.” I said.

  “How would you know? It’s not like y-” She stopped herself. “Sorry.” She looked even more broken.

  “That doesn’t matter. Being assaulted doesn’t mean that for the rest of your life you are second class.” I said gaining momentum.

  “But they have something that I can never gain back.” Jane said.

  “You are still a person, just like everybody else. You still feel sad, and you still can feel happiness. You are not abandoned.” I said with full confidence.

  “But-.” she started.

  I Interrupted, “Do you really think that you are less? That you have no future.”

  “But I am less, and my future will never be able to forget that day.” She replied.

  “Then do you think the five others are less? That they will never be able to forget.” I said.

  “No.” She said guiltily.

  “Then trust me, you are no less than anybody else. You still have the people around you. You will never be alone. Your future has happiness in it.” I said.

  ‘“How can you be so sure?” She asked.

  “Because I am here for you.” I said simply.

  “Player.” She said again and went silent.