I was sinking.

  I had just been pushed off of a boat. And after a quick rush of air I had landed against the hard water. Unfortunately that had knocked all the air out of my lungs.

  I felt the water fold around me and I closed my eyes. The water began to bite and sting my skin, it was getting colder.

  I forced myself to open my eyes, but there was no difference, what laid before me was an inky black abyss.

  The water got so cold that I felt it leech deeper inside of me, but at least my skin wasn’t cold anymore.

  I didn’t feel my skin, but the inside of my body was freezing with a demonic cold.

  It was fine to give up, I thought to myself. There is nobody to miss me anyway, I continued. I had no friends and no parents, I added.

  Despair settled in, there was nothing good about me and there would never be anything good about me.

  I slowly turned around in the water, I could see a bleak darkness. Pain filled my being… I needed air.

  I felt my entire body tighten, including my brain. It was telling me to live.

  But what use was there, I forcibly relaxed my body, and the pain faded slightly.

  I sank deeper and deeper, slowly and painfully.

  I could see the outline of the boat slowly get further away. A small light in the distance flickering with the waves, as if telling me I was unwanted.

  This is the same feeling as then, I thought to myself.

  This is what it feels like to be abandoned, and to be alone.

  I thought back to the day my mother died. It felt quite like this, the feeling in my chest.

  I will just have to… die?

  Die?

  Mother wouldn’t want that.

  Mother, she loved me.

  She wouldn’t want me to die, who would want somebody to die?

  Isn’t that evil, why would you abandon others.

  Why should I die? Why should I give in to those rotten people.

  My life is not dictated by their feelings.

  You were the ones who abandoned me, and you think you can control me?

  A burning desire filled me. I must live… at least until I know what that love feels like.

  If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

  My mind rushed, clothes weigh you down in water. I slipped out of my shirt and pants.

  I began to climb and swim as hard as I could. I was getting slightly closer. The light is slightly bigger. My limbs were burning from the exertion.

  I told my body to live, to fight for my life. However it did not respond well.

  My head and lungs were bursting, I needed air. My head heated up, and the cold disappeared.

  I was entirely focused on reaching that light.

  An eternity dragged on, my mind was fighting with itself.

  Desperate.

  I eventually reached the air. I gasped and gasped air filled my lungs but I was still dying. My vision was already blurry but I could see the bright moon shining at me.

  I was struggling to float in the water, it was too dark and the coastline blended into the sky.

  Would I still die after all of this?

  I felt my limbs relax against my will. I wouldn’t be able to keep myself afloat.

  But I would not give in to despair.

  I saw another light, it was slowly getting brighter.

  I heard a noise amongst the waves, a motor?

  My head was about to go underwater when a hand grabbed me from behind.

  I was lifted out of the water and placed somewhere.

  Adrenaline flew through me and I quickly regained my senses. I was sitting in front of a man on a Jet Ski. He was holding the handle with one hand and me with the other.

  I could hear my heart thumping again and again as we got closer to the shore.

  He lifted me with both hands and moved toward an ambulance.

  I was surrounded by all kinds of people. I tried to stand up, but was made to rest without any room for opposition.

  I looked around me. Where was that man?

  He was talking to a police officer at the back of the group. I tried to gain his attention, I swung my arms but this only made people more angry at me. He eventually looked my way and was shocked when he saw me looking at him.

  I wasn’t sure he could hear me, but I muttered out the words, “Thank you.” Before passing out.

  …

  I woke up in my cell and the memories washed over me again and again. I had often dreamed about that night, but this was the first time in a while that it had so much detail.

  Compared to the inky abyss of the sea, this constricting gray cell felt like nothing.

  The day continued, the same as the ones before. Until lunch came around.

  I had already been called for interrogation, so I had nothing to do for the rest of the day. Suddenly the tall officer from before was in front of my cell. He was holding a tray.

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  “First you need to eat.” he said while laying down a tray. It contained toast, slices of cheese, an apple, a peeled orange, and a banana.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you anything better. They told me I couldn’t give you anything from outside the station.” He replied.

  “They?” I asked again while pulling the food over.

  “Oh, ‘they’ is referring to my seniors around the station, the ones who have been interrogating you and some others.” He said with a guilty look.

  “What has been going on here is wrong.” He added on. “And the worst part is that I can barely do anything to help.”

  “Barely?” I asked a question again.

  “Yes, I can give you two meals a day now. Additionally, your court date has been set.” He whispered. ‘They’ must have stopped them.

  “When?” I asked.

  “It will be this friday, and you will get a public attorney.” He said.

  “Public attorney, will they tamper with him?” I finally asked a full question.

  “I don’t know, but they certainly won’t let you meet with them before the court date.” He said.

  “Is that all the help you can give?” I asked.

  “Yeah, unfortunately most of the department is against you. They are stopping me from anything more.” He said with the same guilty look on his face.

  “Okay.” I said without any emotion to my words. This really meant nothing to me.